how_i_feel
LilyDragon You are the only one I want to have around during my "art time." I can't be "me" enough to do it with anyone else around.
I know this. I have tried.
Again and again.

I want to go stay at Comanche with you some weekend. You've given me the reality of the place, and I don't care. I want to go and feel the vibe of what used to be there.

I want to meet your mother. And tell her that her son is someone she should be proud of. Because he is. Really. In spite of, or maybe because of, mistakes that she makes. Children don't come with a manual, unfortunately.

I smile when I get to watch you read a bedtime story to my children.

I really didn't mind you rearranging my kitchen. Well, not too much. ;-)

I don't want to miss my best friend any more.

It actually makes me glad that we've seen a lot of each other's bests and worsts. It keeps us honest.

I would rearrange time if I could to have done better the first time.

You know I love you.
(This was originally written in my journal on January 19th. It all still rings true.) 		040127
...
pete "Put your name on the line
Along with place and time
Want to stay, not to go, I want to ditch the logical.

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.
Here's to the night we felt alive.
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry.
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon.

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go"

(from here's to the night by eve6)

gah. 		050722
...
her royal highness the quirk yet another night of hanging out with my best guy friend. not a friday night date. just me and him watching movies. every time it gets harder and harder to watch him fall asleep on my couch while i go to my room fighting tears because i know that he'll never want me the way i want him. knowing that i'll always be just another friend to him. god this sucks. 050722
...
rage everything good ends.
stupid for thinking it wouldnt
owch

fuckthisshitmotherfuckerfuckedmeoverleftfeelinglikeshitfuckyoufuckfaceiwannakickyourfuckingasswhyisthissoshitasswipeyounevercaredyounecvercareditsoveritsoveritsoveritsoveritsoveriitsoveritsover
wish_it_didnt_have_to_be_so_bad 		050723
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
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