splintered_heart Splinty please re-claim the splinters you've stored in my heart. 040721 ... BnB Sorry, but they're embedded there, and I can't pull them out. 090214 ... blown cherry can feel her heart breaking all over again. 090215 ... unhinged and i leave the pieces in places where i can't get them back 090216 ... blown cherry see what the fuck is this. I don't even remember typing this, the day after my birthday. How can I live the rest of my life with my heart breaking every 2 months? Dying one little bit at a time. Better that I die now, all at once. If only I didn't have to take everyone down with me. 090526 ... birdmad still gluing back the pieces ten years on 090526 ... unhinged it's cold and rainy here today; and just yesterday i went out to eat with my parents and cuddled the little monsters in my family. i already miss doing puzzles with my mom and cable tv and just my whole family. this stupidfucking_sinusinfection and my hormones aren't helping much, but i do think i have outgrown that urge i had when i was younger to be off, on my own. ever_since my brother got his blackberry, i don't actually talk to him much but we were having a text dialogue yesterday about him and his girlfriend being split up and the things he's given up recently because he realized they were negatively impacting his life. (whether he realized these things cause of kelli, our dad, or himself, or a little bit of all of those things is hard to say) i was forced to think again of how much faster he has grown up than me. i need my brother. i need him to be closer to me. these past five years have sucked without him. i am tired of having a chunk of my heart in the middle of the pacific ocean. i am tired of having only words on a screen. part of me is used to going home and him not being there. part of me wishes it's a joke and he'll just pop out of somewhere. all the life he's had without me makes me feel like i don't know him anymore. (then again, i guess he could say the same about me) i took more pictures of him when i was home this weekend. my favorite is the two of us at a water park, under a mushroom/umbrella that is raining down water, holding hands. sometimes, i just want to sit with my brother the way we did when we were kids and hold hands. 090527 what's it to you? who go blather from