sensitive_girl Christine She gazes into the familiar pool of her own reflection, eyes slightly puffy from tears of despair. "No", she declares,"I am not going under so easily, I will not fold". She extracts the preperation H from her overflowing make-up bag & preceeds to dab a bit around her swollen, bloodshot eyes. 050311 ... Christine relegation 050311 ... milo i would very much like ot hug you . 050311 ... duh! [to] hug you - . 050311 ... unhinged step_out_the_frong_door_like_a_ghost and when you don't have the strength to paste on the smile better to wear no make up at all baggy clothes a safe bet at invisibility to the world and if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom away from all the knives, blades blasting old comforts on the headphones tears streaming down try to think of those happy times if only because you were at least happy once in your life random rays of sunshine piercing through the thick and heavy clouds i've got this place i crawl in the only will left to defend the only way i can shut out the sneers and blame and be some semblance of who i'm meant to be again i don't like to go on without_you but seeing as i don't have any choice i'm sitting on the bathroom floor listening to my only remnants of your_voice i swore to myself no one else would ever put me here mascara rivers stinging tears i wish my skin was thick enough pretty enough telling myself that i've abandoned all hope when really at the heart of it hope is what i live on so last night i locked myself in the bathroom hoping that my skin would stop itching smoking my already soddenly drunk ass into a hopelessly oblivious state so that i can stop thinking about the fact that i would rather get them to use me when i can't get them to love me cause there's nothing attractive here to the masses the abuse and loneliness of so many years a sharp testament my_depression_is_a_hole_in_the_ground and i've never crawled in this deep and alone there always used to be someone to cushion the fall and we're all scattered to the wind these days our network blown apart and i just keep drowing myself in hopeless oblivion hoping one day i'll learn how to swim 050311 ... unhinged damn typos my anal retentiveness is agitated by the fact that i can't fix them 050311 ... unhinged (oh what a difference a decade and some practiced religion makes) 180926 what's it to you? who go blather from