innerviews_pushpins_yummychuckle frAnk i find the dichotomy of pushpins/yummychuckle fascinating. your writing is vibrant and intoxicating, capturing the essence of youth, sensitive observations from within a soul that has a very cool ability to see, listen, and assimilate. please describe the times when you are living out each of these characters in your real life, the differences between the two, which one is most like your true self, or how the two merge to become one. 020308 ... pushpins/yummychuckle To decide which persona I am going to post under after I finish a certain blathe, i ask myself the question, "Does this blathe sound like I am younger than i am, or older?" or...ACTUALLY..."Is this stupid?" and if I think it is an immature, stupid, emotionally messy, hypocritical, or worthless blathe, i post under the name "yummychuckle" or "yummyC". SOME of the blathes aren't horribly awful, but are rather more like a chatty post... Pushpins was created for me so I could avoid conversating with otehr blatherers and leave behind bias ...to see what people would think of pushpins if they hated yummychuckle. I tried to stick to poetry for a while, but sort of drifted into making relationships with fellow blatherers and posting some not-so-worthwhile messages. In real life, my nickname is Zoe. People that met me during or after ninth grade know me as Zoe, unless i know them through family. In which case, i am Jamie. Zoe started out as this fun loving sparkely me but started fading into the dull drab depressed jamie. So now its hard to figure out which I am. but if I were to associate names on blather with my names in real life, i would say Zoe is more like yummychuckle and pushpins is more like Jamie. Zoe is my school persona...jamie is who i am and have been for years and she is ridden with insecurities (this is where I contradict myself: ) but PUSHPINS is a braver me. and ACTUALLY through pushpins I have been becoming less passive aggressive. Yesterday was sort of a turning point and I have some self respect now. Enough to tell somebody to shut the fuck up if they start trying to make me feel bad (i.e. exbestfriend Erica). I'm sick of people walking all over me and...I'm just not going to let myself think that something is MY fault if a person treats me badly. As of yesterday. but this really is going to last... not like some other things i have told myself. so thats kind of pushpins and Jamie meshing. and Zoe is sort of returning to her bubbly self.... crap i have to go but I'll finish later (Im at school, the bell rang) 020308 ... yummychuckle alright. finishing: I am more yummychuckle than anybody else. awkward and messy. Pushpins has it more together. Pushpins is the layer of my brain devoted to expressing all the hidden things I think through each day... Identity problems. I don't know who am, really. Which is why i am yummychuckle pushpins jamie zoe confabulation anyway mistaken and who knows who else. sometimes i feel too alive and sometimes I feel completely dead and I am amazed when I feel my chest rise and fall as I breathe. I don't know. 020309 ... minnesota_chris Alright, that's weird, I thought Pushpins was a punk, and that Yummy was quite mature for her age. 020310 what's it to you? who go blather from