for_frank unhinged frank--- i wanted to write you a letter before i left. i can't thank you enough for what you have done for me for the past three and a half years. your music and you have helped me through so much. i guess i probably sound like a stupid groupie on paper but the music you made so totally matched how i felt on the inside that it helped me work through really bad depression because maybe someone else felt like that too. i think i have learned more from you about being a musician than anyone else in youngstown. and i know you probably aren't believeing a word that i am saying about you but i think you are a great talented human being. and i am going to miss you so much that it already makes me sick. you've pulled me through some of the toughest years of my life. and i'm going to miss my $5 therapy sessions at cedars and the_nyabinghi. fuck, i'm just going to miss you. nicole 030320 ... unhinged ill_always_be_here 030321 ... unhinged go. be happy. i love you. ill_always_be_here 040428 ... unhinged roughdraft 041201 ... unhinged i know what it feels like to want to give up. i know what it feels like to crawl in a hole cause it's easier to be in the darkness. i know what it feels like to feel like such a fucking disappointment to yourself and everyone that cares that you just can't try to be good anymore. that it's easier to drown than swim. i know what that feels like. when the effort of holding your head above water for everyone else becomes meaningless. so i'm praying for you, for rest for you, for peace. you have saved me countless times because i wanted to be saved. i miss you as my friend, my surrogate brother, a fellow musician and performer, but still i want more than anything for you to be happy. and i do understand what happiness is when you're drowning. to stop the struggle, to let_go, to feel the final breath. i do understand babe. that as much as i love and miss you, i won't be the selfish one. i don't want to be left without_you, but if that's what makes you happy, let_go . i can still pray for your spirit no matter where it is. and love you; but i do understand and i won't be the one holding you here, miserable. 050314 ... falling_alone frankie, you have my pictures but i think it might be a teeny bit wierd that you do. so i won't be giving you any from me, not to say that others won't send them for you. 050314 ... falling_alone yeah, great job following through falling alone. frankie, you were supposed to be drunk. why'd you have to go and save the picture of my knickers? 060208 ... unhinged i still can't find someone that hugs me as good. i especially miss you today my friend. 070430 ... unhinged five_years_ago i would have never thought you'd still occupy so many of my thoughts 080517 what's it to you? who go blather from