my_clever_shower_experiment endless desire there is no way to warm the inside and the outside's far to hot. i call upon the most clever parts of my brain. heavy breaths and sad tomorrows leave no choice. worlds are breaking and i feel so cold inside. icy and alone. frozen sleep. that's when i put my mind to work. the closet in the hall contains many coats. warm and thick. made for winters i've never experienced. i pile them on, slowly. one by one. the ice inside me has taken over. speed is a foreign concept. sleeve over sleeve, sweater over sweater, scarves and beanies. i trudge down the narrow hallway once again, to the yellow bathtub. yes, how i've enjoyed that tub throughout the years. shivering cold piled in cloth, i step inside the shower. i crouch down--why, crouch is an ugly word. kneeling there, a twist of the knob containing the "H" scarves, mittens, coats. i pull in a towell or so, just in case. heat pours, soaking my hair, weighing heavy under the baggage. knees to chest, i'm still cold inside. still dead inside. days roll by. he asked me if i had a black eye. "no i just don't sleep." my clever shower experiment was a failure. my hypothesis drenched with me in that steaming shower. i even let the water fill until it dripped over the sides. but nothing suited. i just shivered and sobbed. such an unappealing picture. bunched in a ball of clothing, unable to breathe in the steam. i'm not one to give in though. maybe if i bathe in ice, i will remember warmth again. cold hearts make cold lives and cold tears and cold cries. no wonder i like ice cream. . . the sweet example of what happens when something beautiful dies. 030824 ... sing you BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 030824 ... Sparticus not dead let me warm you 030824 ... voodoo that was beautiful, endless 030825 ... eyedream beautiful writing desirue more comment later loves you 030825 ... pipedream applauds i hope you're happier now 030825 ... Death of a Rose Just passing through, don't mind me. 031019 ... realistic optimist wonderful pathetic fallacy. 031019 ... magicforest HAH. It took me forever to find this blathe again. I've been looking for it. 031019 ... lovely attraction why's that, eyedream? 031019 ... Syrope endless_desire - forgive me for all the words of yours i've stolen for AIM profiles & away msgs 031210 ... whitechocolatewalrus so lovely, says i. 031210 ... magicforest why not, lovely attraction 031211 ... des i was just wondering why you were looking for it. lovely attraction. . . that name never suited me. there's more than a dozen. some who are constant characters, others are just identities for a day. my clever experiment. this was one of my favourites. 031211 ... birdmad turn on water, wait five seconds, watch tonya perch on edge of tub once she bocomes aware of running wter, let water warm up and pull switch from faucet to shower-head,watch tonya freak out and hide under the bed from casual contact with splashing water, laugh maniacally knowing she will repeat the process every time in hope of a different result conclusion: i have a schizo_kitty 031211 what's it to you? who go blather from