crazy_jesus_lady the anomie of birdmad my general air of detachment seems to have finally cured her of her interest in me. it was only due to simple kindness that she made her assumption and having been played for the fool myself on numerous occasions, i made certain not to irresponsibly lead her on or let her believe more than was true. the only way i could have resolved that any faster would have been to resort to being rude and dismissive, and that would have been cruel 070319 ... . hah? 070319 ... pSyche all I wanted to do was buy a sandwich. a SANDWICH! Good grief, I hate walmart. 070320 ... unhinged i was waiting for the 62 in front of the union trying to get home so i could go to work. makeup was still smudged on my face from the night before. i'm not sure whose couch i slept on anymore. it was sunday; it was church time. there are several churches right across the street from that busstop. a korean lady in a feminine suit came up to me. 'would you like to go to church with me?' 'no thanks. i'm trying to get to work.' 'well, i can give you a ride to work after the service.' i smelled like sweat and stale alcohol. i had makeup plastered to my face. i wasn't 'dressed for church.' 'no thanks; i have to work soon.' 'where do you work?' 'gianelli's pizza shop in shorewood.' 'i can take you there after church.' no thanks lady. jesus_christ, i'm trying to be nice but you are starting to piss me off. 'no thanks; i really have to be at work soon.' then there was an awkward silence at the busstop while we waited for the 62. i don't think she even got on the bus. she just waited there to make sure i did and then walked away looking for some other sinning college kid to take to church with her. too bad it was summer, and hardly anyone on campus. 070320 ... birdmad ponders the risks of altruism by simple kindness, i mean that said Crazy Jesus Lady is on disability due to a period of being institutionalized and had her SS check docked a couple hundred bucks for a few months. as underwhelming as my own finances were, my memory of what it was like to be homeless however briefly and to have to make do with nothing but PB & J sandwiches for a whole month because the people who let me crash in their place always sucked up the extra food that i helped pay for, so i wasn't gonna let the woman starve or have to do with poor staples, so i doled out some of the extras from my freezer and my cupboard and bought some extra groceries for her to make up for the shortfall I didn't do it because i wanted anything from her because i just don't find myself particularly attracted to her (in fact the only woman in my apartment complex who attracts my attention is one half of the couple that lives across the corner unit from me who, in spite of her man occasionally looks at me in a way that both makes me deeply uncomfortable and disturbingly excited) 070320 ... birdmad (until exposed became my darker side) and RE: the ". hah?" blathe just below my first blathe on this subject, i have only this to say: ...you and whomever rode in on you 070320 what's it to you? who go blather from