yummychuckle with my hands
to not lose control
and accept the hug
someone was trying to give me.
I thought they meant it
but as much content as this person has,
it felt like it hardly grazed my surface.
and I said to myself
"i'm dead inside"
and that while i played this moment up
in my mind
in the past when i was sobbing on her doorstep,
in reality i have made it
so that nobody can save me
even if I wanted them to.
silentbob i begged you not to go
i begged you
i pleaded

ilovepatsajak i like the little beats between those lyrics 020301
yummyC yep, I was listening to that song when I wrote this blathe :) 020301
silentbob its weird that you keep on reminding me of the songs ive been having in my head all day ANYWAY
like when your favorite song comes on the radio
yummyC with my fists bound together
at the wrists
kneeling and crying silently
biting my lip
and shaking
i pleaded with my eyes.
unhinged i pleaded with my heart
when i saw her standing in line
hoping she wouldn't see me
and she sat down across the room
and i wanted her to see me
but stay far away
so that i could forget about her
she called this morning
i wanted her to call
but i was too tired to pick up the phone
and i heard her voice
being recorded on my answering machine
she sounded like she had just woke up
she called me nicole
she always called me coley
she walked over to me
and i pleaded with my heart
that i could turn her away
that she wasn't walking towards me
and she came up to me
and hugged me
she smelled like she had just taken a shower
i wanted to eat her when she smelled like that
i stayed awake for two hours this morning
after she called
and all i could think was
how much i wish i would have made love to her
when i had the chance
i listened to jeff_buckley and thought of her and how much i wanted her
how much i had loved her
and a few more solitary tears squeezed out
of my constrained heart
but i could smell her
and she kissed me on the cheek
and i wanted more than anything
to touch her face
and whisper into her ear
"i have been thinking about you all morning; i want you; i love you"
i pleaded with my heart
that i could end it all
what's it to you?
who go