emmi hi. nice to meet you. 040219
emmi i don't really know how to make friends anymore... 040523
emmi and i'm always missing everyone

and they say, don't make someone a priority who only considers you an option.

but imagine a life with no priorities, all options...

i've lost too much this year
emmi exams are over and i'm wondering what to do now. look for a new place to live, shop for birthdays, maybe start packing up my stuff, or plan my summer and the coming year. what use is planning anymore?

watch the weather change and the skies get bright, watch the windows open and it's the first time i've seen the people in this city really smiling.
and say goodbye, and start over, and say goodbye again.

why should you look for those who make you want to beg and plead and throw up in agony over what they threw away. not you. why do you like being brushed off, when there's someone a twenty minute bus ride away from you who will go out of their way to spend a day with you...and there's no use in playing games with a friend. it's just a soft spot though, and there's no overanalysing it. why should you?

whatever. he packed me up and threw me away while i listened and drew the patterns on my arm. he told me i'm beautiful but simple, and that i can be very passive. i want to throw my plates and cups out of the window and scream, but really i just want to be what he wants me to be. i'm leaving and i'm so ready. i really am almost moving on.
minnesota_chris I like emmi, even though she is Finnish and living in London, which means she is probably strange. 040529
emmi thank you
i like minnesota_chris too. though my history teacher in school was from minnesota and he was rather strange. actually his name was also chris. do you teach history?
minnesota_chris Hello, emmi. It's been a long while, hasn't it? How's your studies been?

just kidding. Wow, we minnesota chris's get around!
emily *emmi* hey emmi
people call me emmi too
the people who think we're friends
i dont really get on with people though
i guess i dont care about what they care about
anyway its nice to knwo theres another emmi around here
emmi hahah. you had me fooled for a bit, minnesota chris.

and nice to meet you, other emmi.
emmi i hide these words in the lining of my coat
i take them out like a jewel thief when no one's watching
they haven't faded
nothing about them has faded

i just wish i could write them to you.
what's it to you?
who go