don't_follow_me icy " do not walk in front of me, for i may not follow. do not walk behind me, for i may not lead. just walk beside me and be my friend. " ok, so obviously i didn't write that, and i more than likely misquoted it. but i think it speaks volumes for how and who i am, the good and the bad. if i think about it too much, i get depressed sometimes because i can see what a horrible excuse of a person i am. but sometimes, i catch glimpses of my not-so-bad. it's actually quite uplifting every now and then (because it doesn't happen too often), and i like that. i try to learn from people, and the ones i like, i try to say something nice about them (at least think it) each day. not something like they have nice shoes, or a nice haircut, but something like they made me see something from a different point of view. they taught me something new today. so, don't follow me, but let's be friends and help others see the happy parts in themselves. 031029 ... icy i.e. my friend michael is taking me out to dinner tonight, to a really nice restaurant. simply because we're friends and we like spending time with each other. he's very thoughtful like that. 031029 ... . . 031030 ... icy my sister is one of my best friends. i could tell her anything, and she would know when to be quiet, when to give advice, when to cry, and even when to tell. we can say anything and be certain the other knows what is meant. we're celebrating tonight (happy halloween!! how exciting!!) for various reasons with champagne and good company... and a dj at the local bar. i *so* look forward to seeing her tonight! yay! 031031 ... icy seems like a lifetime (or two) ago... not that the people have changed so much, but i have. and definitely not always for the better. actually, pretty much not at all for the better. all for the worse. probly couldn't get much lower right now - stuck in a rut, a ravine, a wallow, of course of my own making. who else can fix me, but first, who else can break me? all that you said was most likely true. if not directly, then still in a way. it was true to you; you believed it. just because it applied to no one didn't matter. and yes, i am a bitch. i am a tease. i am all those bad things they said and you thought and wrote (oh, yes, you never said them later - because you never called!). perhaps you didn't write them so obviously, but i can still read between the lines. i read between lots of lines. don't_follow_me, for i will most certainly lead you astray. 050804 ... jimmyjoe corndog ive never been astray before. would you please lead the way? 050804 ... icy it's the sixth star to the left and straight on til pitch black of night - always darkest and coldest before the dawn that never comes. 050909 what's it to you? who go blather from