starfleet Boogaloo are we really living in a closed system? 001230 ... retartedkidnameddamian starfleet to scout ship will you please give me your position? 010328 ... Dafremen Starfleet this is scout ship. We are currently entering Sector 5 of the Garfluvian system on our way to rendevous with the Clandusians. Please be advised that Chief Engineer Floru' broke wind causing 60% of our oxygen scrubber units to fail. Will make repairs at Starbase Jandack and confine Commander Floru' to his quarters. Scout ship out. 010328 ... Captain retartedkidnameddamian scout ship, this is starship. we have spare oxygen scrubbers. have captain Flouro' demoted to lieutenant. send him to the starfleet mother ship immediatly. the clandusians will be pleased. 010328 ... klingon from Uranus Number One, I order you to take a number two! 010328 ... Dafremen Affirmative starship. Be advised that Ex-Chief Engineer, Now Lt. Floru was found dead in his quarters at O-800 hours Galaxial Mean Time. Ship's Doctor Rendow has performed a preliminary autopsy and believes the cause of death was asphyxiation in his own gases. The body has been cryo-frozen and will be released upon our arrival at Starbase Jandack for return to his next of kin. Our rendevous with the Clandusian contingent went off as planned, with one minor incident. It seems that Clandusian custom requires that their ambassador honor his visitors by EATING one of their people alive. The lowest ranking member of our landing party, Crewman Clipsa was offered up with Starfleet's highest regards to the Clandusians. Our condolances to his family. Please inform them that he served Starfleet with honor and distinction and, according to the Clandusians was "quite tender and tasty with an almond aftertaste". Have left Clandusia and are now enroute to Starbase Jandack. Scout ship out. 010404 ... retartedkidnameddamian Woah, that sucks 010406 ... Dafremen Starfleet this is scout ship. Indeed it does starfleet, indeed it does. Scout ship out. - - 010427 ... Pythagorus I once heard a rumor, that a trekkie believed, that someone from the future travelled back in time to tell Gene Roddenbury about starfleet in order to prepare us for the future. Hmmmm. 010905 ... Photophobe Yeah, just like someone from the past travelled forward in time to tell us about The Flintstones so that we'd have been prepared, if we'd been in the past. 010905 ... Dafremen Starfleet, this is scout ship. Have completed our rendevous on Terra with famed "visionary" Gene Rodenberry. Although the intendant received the message with some skepticism, a quick lift of Commander Blangotz cap, revealing his single forehead tentacle, quickly convinced the Mr. Rodenberry of our sincerity. The rest of the mission ran smoothly. As per standing orders, course has been set for William Hanna's studios to deliver the urgent message given to us by the unexpected visitor from the prehistoric past who appeared at StarCore Juvlinan last Galaxial cycle. Expect an uneventful trip once Commander Blangotz manages to wrestle his cap back on. Apparently his tentacle has a mind of its own. Scout ship out. 010906 ... Teenage Jesus URGENT MESSAGE To : Scout Ship From : Central Command Scout Ship, you are ordered to abort your current mission. It has come to our attention that Commander Blangotz is an agent from the planet Freak Out. His suicide mission threatens the future of planet earth and it's entire cartoon output. Return immediately to Space Station Smelly Aplo 5. Under no circumstances are you to make Commander Blangotz aware of these orders. Good luck, in this, your darkest hour. Central Command out. 010906 ... Artemismagus Ok get this people.... Bones or the doctor as all of you primates remeber him by is still alive in the starfleet timeline. How? With a full body suit that is keeping him alive. Scotty is alive because of some freaky transporting accident, so he is still fat as ever in the current timeline. Spock still walks the earth because he is Vulcan and just has the years on his life to burn. So what happens to everyone else?? i mean thats screwed up yaknow!!! the black chick doesnt make it or what, and how about that fine ass nurse that always wanted to get in kirks pants... wuz up with that!!!! 010906 ... User24 it's a sad fact, but there it is.. uhura is dead. long live uhura I hear they preserved that earpiece in a starfleet museum, though, complete with earwax nodules. 030630 ... Dafremen This made me smile today. It's really a pretty good read. Way to go blather..man I'm going to miss you. 030823 what's it to you? who go blather from