|
|
what_made_you_swear_today
|
|
|
tender_square
|
dropping a plastic clamshell of grape tomatoes on the driveway. i yelled "SHIT!" as my neighbour was helping her niece carry a baby to the car. (and you bet your ass i picked up every last red oval from the pavement. i wasn't about to let $3.50 go to waste.)
|
221214
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a whole lot of fucking shit.
|
221215
|
|
... |
|
|
kerry
|
the basement flooding. again.
|
221216
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
falling up a set of concrete steps and catching myself with my right hand.
|
221218
|
|
... |
|
|
past
|
the pineapple's juice finding every crack in my tired hands as i carved it. each sting a little bite of vegetal revenge. (fruit know that revenge is best served sweet.)
|
221219
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
the gas pump refusing not one, but two different debit cards as it flashed the annoying message "please see cashier." i was yelling "jesus fucking christ," in my hanger not realizing that there was someone on the other side of the gas bar listening.
|
221223
|
|
... |
|
|
past
|
the bright red "high fever" signal on the forehead thermometer after checking one of the littles.
|
221223
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
unpacking the groceries and realizing i forgot to buy red peppers at my second stop after they hadn't been available at the first.
|
230111
|
|
... |
|
|
past
|
a giant pile of hot asphalt on the sidewalk for the adjacent construction project, forcing me and the stroller into the road.
|
230111
|
|
... |
|
|
kerry
|
nearly missing the bus, which was one minute early instead of five minutes late as usual.
|
230111
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
a white minivan that nearly ran me down outside herman high when the driver attempted to roll through the stop sign, only paying attention to the students that were walking in the same direction as the vehicle was traveling and not to the pedestrian RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.
|
230112
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
sneezing in successive bursts so violent i feel my bones rattling.
|
230121
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
stubbing my toe for the first time in recent memory.
|
230131
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
an ancient dvd player, toppled from the top of a tv i haven't turned on in years, made angry enough by the juice in my jumping_jacks to do a backward dive into a swimming pool lined with carpet and bad intentions.
|
230201
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
all the things.
|
230202
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
ikea being completely out of the trones shoe rack.
|
230305
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a city that threatens its residents when they dare to question the corruption that surrounds them.
|
230414
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the same train_whistle that's been stabbing me in the brain almost every morning, afternoon, and night without fail since october of last year.
|
230502
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
biting the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw blood.
|
230510
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
moxy biting my lip when i went in to give her a kiss. (note to self: don't try to smooch anxious dogs.)
|
230516
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
my camera failing to focus in time to capture a bit of magic that was happening right in front of me.
|
230519
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
street racing after_midnight (a regular occurrence now).
|
230526
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
my weekend being taken over by city training, nine to five each day, for a recreation job that i'm not even sure i want anymore (and have already done a bunch of unpaid online training for the past week).
|
230601
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a starling stealing food that wasn't meant for them.
|
230602
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
traffic in every goddamn place.
|
230602
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
an insufferable robin that won't SHUT THE FUCK UP.
|
230611
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
realizing almost every picture i took this morning was ruined by an unintentionally high ISO setting.
|
230614
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
the crush of cars on what few streets we have traversing this city from west to east. when one route is unavailable, it's felt everywhere else.
|
230615
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the stubborn seal on a bottle of orange juice.
|
230616
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
stubbing my toe. again. what came out of me between gritted teeth rhymed with this:
"ducking hunt, cheese and rice, piece of mother trucking spit."
|
230625
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
boundless human stupidity.
|
230701
|
|
... |
|
|
nr
|
what made me cry yesterday
|
230701
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
mother_nature.
|
230702
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the same asshole who's been lighting off firecrackers seventy or eighty nights a year for the last decade.
|
230714
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
tripping and losing my grip on my nut sack.
(that's the bag i keep the food in for my furry friends. not my ... you know.)
|
230715
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
seeing the tenant drop his sixth bag of garbage into the bin the span of a week. there's got to be fifty pounds of trash in that can, easy. (how in the fuck does one person generate so much garbage? oh...)
|
230718
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the ceaseless screaming of uninventive children.
(also what_i'm_listening_to_right_now.)
|
230724
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
smacking a single knuckle on a dormant tv set.
|
230726
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
campers neglecting to turn the drinking water valve completely shut and letting precious water urinate a steady stream down the stone wall.
|
230729
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
a rash of raised bumps i thought was poison ivy, but was actually moss from a park bench irritating my delicate forearms.
|
230730
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the kitchen cupboard that cut my ring finger open.
|
230802
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
an unintentional walnut explosion.
|
230811
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a limo bus blasting bass-heavy music for newlyweds to twerk to while they posed for pictures in the park.
|
230812
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a fly that keeps trying to bite me through my socks for reasons only it understands.
|
230814
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
the lamacoid machine shifting the plastic sheet as the needle carved, which made the design crooked and unusable.
|
230814
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
a mess of yellow crumbs on the front walkway. spilled coffee on the tile in the foyer. a throw-away cup with a little liquid left and a whole lot of cigarettes floating in it on the stoop. this tenant is testing my fucking patience.
|
230818
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a lawnmower that should have stayed asleep.
|
230819
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the first sunburn i've had in a good few years. i guess that's what i get for half-assing it with the sunscreen on the back of my neck.
|
230820
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
getting my thumb caught in the car door while attempting a soft close.
|
230824
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a lengthy list of indignities and stupidities.
|
230828
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
motorists driving under the speed limit on the hellscape that is walker when traffic was not congested.
bending my thumbnail back and watching the bloody bloom beneath keratin.
|
230910
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a mosquito bite on my knuckle.
|
230914
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
accidentally hitting myself in the face.
|
230923
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
seeing litter in a nature preserve.
|
230923
|
|
... |
|
|
tender_square
|
the fickleness of technology. (i must've shot my computer the finger and told it to fuck off about eighteen times.)
|
230924
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a stubborn usb cable.
|
230925
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
losing my grip on a bottle of water and watching as three quarters of its contents sprayed onto the floor.
|
231001
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
another stubbed toe.
|
231014
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a healthy tree being mutilated so people born without imagination can deceive themselves into believing their lives have purpose.
|
231018
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the awful music made by essex_terminal_railway.
|
231023
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
this laptop freezing up and restarting without warning for the tenth time in the last six weeks.
|
231026
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
my favourite prefuse 73 album deciding to stop working just before i made it to the last track. i thought about breaking the cd in half. i settled for chucking it across the room.
|
231123
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
somehow contriving a way to hit my head on the dryer door while i was fetching socks.
|
231130
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
my left elbow.
|
231204
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a lampshade.
|
231208
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
smacking my head on an appliance again. this time it was the freezer door.
|
240126
|
|
... |
|
|
e_o_i
|
Trying to get university transcripts.
|
240126
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
this decrepit old ok_computer shutting down on me at random for what feels like the twentieth time this year.
|
240309
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
my camera being a prankster again.
|
240314
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
this bullshit winter wind.
first_day_of_spring my ass.
|
240319
|
|
... |
|
|
e_o_i
|
Money. If it has to exist, why can't I have more?
(Also there is a town called Fucking and I found that momentarily amusing.)
|
240319
|
|
... |
|
|
releaseofwarmth
|
happy_birthday_pony
fucking shit. jesus fucking christ.
|
240319
|
|
... |
|
|
releaseofwarmth
|
I should clarify these are exclamations of bewilderment. not of contempt or anything. a very extreme "wow"
|
240319
|
|
... |
|
|
Soma
|
wrapping my arms and legs up again
layer over layer of self-adhesive bandage
like i'm in some anime training montage
instead of pathetically
slathering on antihistamine cream
as I cry, naked in the shower,
tired of hives
|
240319
|
|
... |
|
|
warmthofrelease
|
fluids
it's rather fucking good
I almost feel bad for almost overlooking it. hope that didn't and doesn't make me a fucker. but I forgive myself. that gets easier to do with practice I've found.
|
240326
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
hitting myself in the face with the back door while i closed it. i'm still not sure how that happened.
|
240327
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the shitting sheets that won't stay on this goddamn bed no matter what i fucking do.
|
240403
|
|
... |
|
|
e_o_i
|
It's fucking snowing.
|
240403
|
|
... |
|
|
Soma
|
I made new swear words as they punched a hole in my cervix.
|
240404
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the sound of a basketball being bounced for two hours nonstop.
|
240406
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
whatever the hell i just did to the big toe on my left foot.
add this to the list of things i didn't need to learn today: a damaged nail bed bleeds more than you might think.
|
240411
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
i'll give you a hint: it rhymes with "brain thistle".
|
240415
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
someone banging on something. "fuck you, whoever the fuck you are," i said. not that they could hear me.
|
240429
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
almost spraining my thumb grabbing a pair of socks.
|
240508
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
it would be more difficult to list things that *didn't* make me detonate a series of f-bombs today.
|
240515
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a real jerk of a dvd player that decided to stop working right when a film's third act was gathering momentum.
|
240519
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
slamming my knee into a doorknob while getting dressed. seriously. what the fuck?
|
240522
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
thunder_like_a_gunshot running through me in the middle of morning crunches.
|
240529
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
pretty much everything about this stupid day. most recently, pulling a splinter out of my skin after removing a dresser drawer to retrieve a few things that had fallen behind it, preventing it from closing completely.
|
240604
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
stubbing my toe and effectively breaking the nail in half. a different one this time. i might as well just cut my fucking feet off at this point. save myself the trouble.
|
240605
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
fucking up another toe on the same foot and knocking off what was left of that other nail.
the perks of having big feet.
|
240614
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the worst pizza i've ever had in my life.
|
240628
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
hitting my ear on the corner of the bathroom sink after bending over to pick up a clump of hair.
i mean ... really?
|
240727
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
my jerk of a camera, which has decided to become a prankster in its old age, changing the exposure and iso settings on me at random.
|
240802
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the wall. my fingers. my teeth.
everything.
|
240814
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
knocking over a bottle of sunscreen.
|
240817
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
that same bottle of sunscreen. this time it did a somersault straight into the toilet.
|
240819
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
smacking my knee on a tv stand.
|
240821
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the wind ruining what would have been a perfect picture.
|
240827
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
rolling batteries and a bit of spilled water.
|
240924
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
cutting my finger on a container of cherry tomatoes.
|
240927
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
losing a long-suffering toenail.
|
241007
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
a different bottle of sunscreen falling on my foot while i was washing my face.
DO YOU HATE ME, SUNSCREEN? SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK.
|
241010
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
the train_whistle destroying my sleep on a sunday morning. because why should it be different from any other day of the week?
|
241020
|
|
... |
|
|
raze
|
that same train_whistle scaring the shit out of me a little before midnight.
i am so fucking tired of having my life ripped apart by this stupid, sickening, law-breaking, completely pointless fucking stain of a sound. i fantasize about tormenting the people responsible until they beg me to put them out of their misery, and then leaving them to stew in their own soul puke. just so they can get a small taste of what the last two years and change have been like.
|
241106
|
|
|
what's it to you?
who
go
|
blather
from
|
