preserve raze i held the last stick of white birch between my teeth and sealed my lips around its skinny body, waiting for the sting to set in. i sucked on the blunt end the next day to make the taste last a little longer. it took thirteen years to get through thirty-five toothpicks. they stood shoulder to shoulder in a plastic capsule. i felt them pass from her palm to mine. a gift. these weren't the thin wooden wands i was used to, so bland and easily broken. they had heft. their abandoned home still smells of mint when i pop the top. a pungent reminder of sickness and regeneration. on its side is the word for what i tried and failed to do, though i came as close as anyone could have short of locking the door and swallowing the key. 230716 what's it to you? who go blather from