i_don't_understand reue I try so hard to be someone an ideal of what i should be people have always told me certain things they've always thought i'd be the first to backstab them first to grab that knife what reasons do they have to think this? i've tried for so long to make things better to make people happy and okay everyone has their bad days everyone does something untypical of themselves sometime when i do it, i'm stamped with that label branded with a view that i'm so evil i just wish people didn't look at me like i'm some kind of monster... wearing a skin mask 030929 ... never_better i dont understand why you won't just fucking look at me. listen to me. do i have to write you a fucking book about my fucking life? i'm just gonna go the fuck away so i wont have to fuckin look in your lying fucking eyes and watch this fucking "life" of mine fall the fuck apart. i trusted you. i fucking trusted you. i fucking believed you. those fake smiles those fake laughs. everyone of them felt like i was getting hit by a truck. do you know what thats like? i never said anything for your own fucking sake. because i didnt want to bring it up. but the moment you stuff it down and keep it inside is the moment you fall apart. TAKE THIS FROM ME: DO NOT hold it inside, do not just stuff it down. let i out. let all that anger. i thought it was best for everyone if i never said what was bothering me, and look what i've become. i do not want anyone else to go this way. i am warning you all, when you bottle things up inside they NEVER go away. it permament. please. for your sake. i'm on my fucking knees here, do NOT do what i did, do not just stuff it down. if there was any way i could reverse this pain, i'd do it in a second. but its too late. please don't. everyone who reads this, it is NEVER better to hold it in. never. remember that. 040902 ... Doar was that meant for me? that message about leaving, cutting loose and gone. i don't understand and i guess i never will. you are distant and will ever be at a distance. i thought we had agree'd that we are a separate race, a separate being. and that it could only be a separateness. until then I don't understand what could keep us separate. . 100821 ... Doar was that meant for me? that message about leaving, cutting loose and gone. i don't understand and i guess i never will. you are distant and will ever be at a distance. i thought we had agree'd that we are a separate race, a separate being. and that it could only be a separateness. until then I don't understand what could keep us separate. . 100821 ... Doar what am i saying, what am i doing to make you want to leave..... maybe i'm wrong in wanting to still be here...is this what you want? if it is.... then tell me straight... tell me to leave.. and i will.... but i beg you...tell me by your own lips... and i will.... . 100821 ... Doar what am i saying, what am i doing to make you want to leave..... maybe i'm wrong in wanting to still be here...is this what you want? if it is.... then tell me straight... tell me to leave.. and i will.... but i beg you...tell me by your own lips... and i will.... . 100821 ... lostgirl ...i just don't. 110324 what's it to you? who go blather from