compulsive_behavior bethany writing song lyrics over and over again dressing up, whole nine yards, i can't stop when i start, but always at like 2 am- whirling my bottom lip around my two fingers like it's a ferris wheel. 020215 ... yummyC i used to have to make sure my room was PERFECTLY clean everynight before i went to sleep (otherwise i couldnt sleep). I think I figured it out when--as my mom started fighting with her boyfriend--I immediatley started cleaning complulsively and erratically. That kinda traces back to this one night that my mom and he b/f were fighting about me and my mom bursts in as I'm cutting myself and trying not to cry (yet still crying) and mark (her b/f) is screaming about my messy room. it was about how messy i was or soemthing weird. and im not messy... anyways my mom freaked out and beat me up cus i was cutting. it was a bad night. there are more slight connections, but thats the basis of that shit. 020216 ... lady lunchbox some days i unconsciously avoid the cracks in the sidewalk. some days i won't step on colored floor tiles. i always rinse out my glass with water at least 5 times before i actually fill it with water to drink. my computer keyboard has to be straight on the desk...if it's crooked i get freaked out. i eat fruit snacks, m&m's, popcorn, and other bite-sized food items two at a time...one on each side of my mouth. if i have an uneven number of food items, i bite that item in half and put each half on a different side of my mouth. i have to sleep on the left side of the bed when he's sleeping with me, otherwise i can't sleep. i'm a little weird. 020216 ... yummyC my old friend ramona, and my (ex?)friend erica do the food chewing thing. odd. 020217 ... unhinged i always avoid the cracks in the sidewalk too but i think it has something to do with the length of my legs and my stride. it just somehow falls comfortably that way for me, but i always seem to get a little shiver in my back if i step on one and i find myself intentionally stepping over them. 020217 ... bethany lady lunchbox, i never thought there was another even food chewer in the world!!!!counr before you chew and all. even with cereal 020222 ... little horn scratching and repeating myself and scratching 020223 ... lady lunchbox oh, bethany, there are more of us food-chewers than we'll ever know!! most people won't admit it, but we will!!! tonite i was eating m&m's, and i noticed that as i was picking them up 2x2, i could not have two of the same color in any mouthful. i had an extra blue one left over, so i threw it away. weird. 020323 ... blown cherry blather_addiction 020324 ... blown cherry compulsively blathering compulsively writing compulsively enriching my soul 020324 ... .x. wanting to die 020325 ... june So. It's not all bad. 040220 what's it to you? who go blather from