deflated Shallow Depths Deflated You sit under sallow skies, A pool of purple water collects in your palm. I ask you to stand back And compare your troubles to the infinity That is the complexity Of a weeping child’s mind. Still, you are seated Your soul has been punctured And hung like a wet rag On a forgotten line. I smile a smile, Which once hinted at consolation. Now you are closed; A daisy in constant darkness. 030509 ... philly-for-an-ending The air has been let out of my life. I'm sitting and waiting for something to happen. I'm sick of trying and failing and losing a little bit more of myself in the process. I'm sick of hoping for something more, someone more, and ending up disappointed. I'm sick of sitting here and watching my life go by, slowly and uneventfully. I do, and I lose. I lift up, and I fall. I dream, and I startle, The air has been let out of my life. And I just don't have it in me to work the pump any more. 091015 ... In_Bloom Sunshine Been keeping me up for days There is no night time It's only a passing phase And I feel pretty Pretty enough for you I felt so ugly before I didn't know what to do Sometimes is all I feel up to now But it's not worth it to you Because you've got to get high somehow Is it destruction That you require to feel? Like somebody wants you Someone that's more for real? Sunshine Been keeping me up for days There is no night time Only a passing phase And I'll feel pretty Another hour or two I felt so ugly before I didn't know what to do *Elliott Smith* 091016 ... flowerock Pms_and_espresso I want to relax in a hot bath with some vaporized flowers and tea. I want sweet potatoes with cuddles and a movie in a clean home. I wish the job I had paid more because I really like it and thinking about leaving it as I went in today made my heart sink. I want to feel better and less stressed and less angry and less sad. I want to be better and more expressive in my relationship. I want to remember how to. I want to have helpful dreams again. I miss the smell of the desert. I want to hug a cactus. 150812 what's it to you? who go blather from