fyn gula "a bird doesn't wait to die until he flys," saumboo told himself, frustrated with his fear of wasps. "i have a job to do so i'll fucking do it." he charged the plate of honey that held his goo-covered phone like a raging bull in the narrow streets of seville. the wasps, startled by the sudden intruder flew upwards, hovering like blackhawks over somalia and then attacked with ceaseless abandon.

since his long nose, a product of two consecutive lies concerning the reason why he didn't make the 911 emergency call, was sticking out nearly thirteen inches, the wasps found it first and settled there, stinging him with unbridled fury.

saumboo shrieked with obvious pain, yet blindly groped about on his knees until he bumped into and then swiped up the plate. with his over-sized schnozz throbbing with misery, he quickly freed the phone from its trap and cleaned it with his polka dot hankie that he dipped in the water from the broken fishbowl.

the torturous sensation and swelling from the stings was so intense that saumboo could not even focus on the numbers of the phone's keypad. he happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the nightstand beside queen mauvis' side of the bed. big mistake. he sacred himself shitless.
"can i be a bigger freak?" he asked himself, wincing at his own ghastly reflection. he was desperate in his lonely atrocity and found himself with no idea how he was going to escape the situation.

suddenly, a wonderful idea came to him. she was dressed in deep grooved burgundy cords, a black button down merino sweater, green and white low cut docs, and an alpaca hat that covered her ears but did not keep her lime green shock of hair from sticking out the bottom like fake grass in an easter basket. she was the size of an action figure and was behind the rudder of a tiny aeroplane whose engine was a tightly wound rubberband. saumboo, who was hoping a good idea would come his way, formed an impromtu tarmac with his hands.

the propeller was exhausted of forward propulsion and the little plane glided quietly to rest in saumboo's palms.

"what a great idea!" saumboo yelled, managing in the midst of his misery to sound miraculously motivated.

"what?" the idea said, removing headphones from overtop her hat-covered ears. she had been listening to
"source tags, and codes."

"i said, great idea!" saumboo repeated.

"thank you," she said, proceeding to remove her rhinestone studded cat eye sunglasses. she smiled with gorgeously white teeth, product of the latest light therapy technology.

"i really needed you," saumboo said, running his hands along his nose growing even larger, not from lying, but swelling.

"oh, don't they all," she said, yawning. she raised one eyebrow and then continued. "but nothing, you see, is free." she stepped out of the cockpit and jumped on to the end of his nose, hanging by both hands. sauboo cried out in agony. she laughed.
"it's going to cost you."
what's it to you?
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