half_asleep_thoughts_dialogue epitome of incomprehensibility A dialogue made of half_asleep_thoughts. All half_asleep_thoughts remain the property of their respective owners. unhinged: is it bad that i prefer to be alone? raze: we could pretend to be bothered, but that would be disingenuous. no reason: something like, "she could pass off the tutu mop as a camera." raze: strip the devil from the details. unhinged: he doesn't really care e_o_i: There is always the possibility of war or embarrassment. raze: what's the truest, most impossible thing? gja: Hammock. unhinged: why the fuck am i awake right now? Lovers Lament: I wake at weird times... no reason: "the weirdest! okay bye" raze: up top, lollipop. down low, daddy-o. this stain in my eye, this magnified light … flowerock: I can make anything behind my eyes! ... sea anemones with sunsets inside! (of each wiggly tendril thing) e_o_i: I have to get purple beads for the gay pride parade! raze: i'll bring you back a water buffalo, or seventeen tarantulas. unhinged: form is emptiness emptiness is form raze: more than half of it belongs to me. on second thought, i think exactly half of it is mine. on third thought, that can't be right. it's actually only 46% of it that belongs to me. so i'm not majority owner after all. e_o_i: "coperty status" means how much something belongs to you. Because things can partly belong to you and partly not. If 7 = "plagiarist" and 17 = "bisexual virgin" 27 = ? gja: Hammock. unhinged: surprise surprise raze: that can't be right. all heroes are dead, except for the ones we invent for ourselves. no reason: i came up with the word (non-word?) "populationship." e_o_i: Maria Tharpleworth, Edgecombe, Cody Banks. (I thought the last was an actor's name but it's a movie.) raze: "gotta sing to simply sing" and "snap dog" are not good movie titles. e_o_i: What's a good name for a death metal band? gja: Hammock. raze: that can't be right. but i'd kind of like to hear someone say or sing "i'm gonna floss that man right outa my teeth", just once. e_o_i: A tourist asks: why are all of Carly Rae Jepsen's songs referred to as "customs"? As in her CD, The Collected Customs of Carly Rae Jepsen. raze: something about a "lackluster heart". unhinged: every time you show someone your heart they run away from you flowerock: should I stay inside or run outside? raze: don't do that. e_o_i: You can't just be a ninja nowadays. raze: how could anyone ever drive a truck made out of solid gold? e_o_i: Fullmetal Alchemist looks like Montreal. raze: toe terminator. gja: Hammock. unhinged: what if i woke up next to you instead of chat messages from you? e_o_i: no oral sex jokes and everybody leaves happy. flowerock: just a giant sidewalk_dentist e_o_i: My tooth still tastes like metal. I can't think of any metals with obscure names. Except for titanium and Sia already has a song called that. raze: life is a washing machine set on a demonic spin cycle. gja: Hammock. 180127 ... e_o_i Here is an alternate ending. This one lines up better. ... e_o_i: no oral sex jokes and everybody leaves happy. raze: but i'd kind of like to hear someone say or sing "i'm gonna floss that man right outa my teeth", just once. flowerock: just a giant sidewalk_dentist e_o_i: No construction jokes, even better. raze: if judges lived up to their names, there would never be any controversies. (what does that even mean?) e_o_i: it will mean the money will go to Mali and not to Senegal. no reason: did you grow up in a european envelope? e_o_i: if you pretended it was "ass fixation"... you could imagine being smothered by a butt. gja: Hammock. 180127 ... nr this made me laugh out loud on a plane 180127 ... unhinged . :) 180127 ... raze ::: applause ::: early contender for "blathe of the year" right here. so funny. so good. 180128 ... e_o_i Oh, thanks. :) I was thinking, "Okay, what random crap did I do when I was tired?" 180129 ... e_o_i raze: there's no guarantee if you fall asleep early it'll stay good sleep. nr: there is a live makeup, but of course it doesn't sell. raze: no, no, no. it's a good way to make money. nr: i mean, i don't make a million dollars every time i wake up. raze: i make a hundred and eighty bucks an hour. e_o_i: Oh, god of too much of yourself... raze: basic goddening. nr: i have a confusion to make. raze: how many prayers do we have? nr: ask your brown church. e_o_i: A smaller version of the dog is darker brown, because more condensed. nr: it's comic genius having a dog with us. raze: dogs are okay... i feel for the other species as the series starts to show the fourth wall divided. e_o_i: I'm "action kitten" in this tagline system. nr: i think we are all ready for an adventure taskbar! raze: i know you are, but e_o_i? e_o_i: Ich habe zu viele Hausaufgaben gegessen. raze: zie perglish splur e_o_i: Knock, knock! What's your *actual* language? raze: well, when i started out, there was no musician quiet range. we moved through the straw. nr: composers or composters? raze: both savage and distressing milestones. nr: turn labs are where it's at. raze: just for a second, she twists into a turn. e_o_i: He twisted twice in overtime. nr: like a furnace chair! raze: the fire that burns in me, i carry it around like a planet. nr: does everybody have these airborne shoes on? raze: what makes you think i could cut it out? nr: medieval ankles. raze: oh, wimbledon. oh, win a wild shoe. nr: they were distinguished running shoes, so it was mostly... a death. raze: i was gonna ask you to make a joke. nr: i've got a shirt on; his name is death. raze: okay, i think i'm dead. i'm stunned too. let's eat. nr: i will erase your food. raze: what are you doing? it's theft. it's photography for fruit flies. nr: gotta put these perspectives back in the fridge! raze: that was her magic, ladies and gentlemen. e_o_i: She's a vice president of American English. raze: you're an american spaniel. deal with it. e_o_i: I am *not* an ant with a C2 feature. raze: you're trying to build animals with a force that can't be swayed. past: small_animals. nr: words of prey. raze: our power remains in our words, in multiple bagel slingshots. e_o_i: Not "Latin X" like Tocharian B. raze: that's either a chorus or it's really, really bad. can i get some more? e_o_i: For people who want it all, who are on a roll, there's Vedic English. raze: how many more languages at language point? nr: 50? like you meet on the subway on them, so it's small cement? raze: and all i can ignite along the way is proof that we probably don't pray every day for the same reasons. 240131 ... raze (how you managed to make this feel like an organic conversation is beyond me. more applause, and small cement for all, i say!) 240201 ... e_o_i e_o_i: My biological daughter, Dracula, is the president of the university. kerry: isn’t it okay to be a vampire? nr: maybe? you don't face amoeba and then ten-facing charges otherwise. raze: i think i know the answer, and it involves coordinates and the sun. e_o_i: caprese sunshine? raze: i've yet to figure it out. no one will tell me who or what that is. nr: the beautiful, amoeba-producing soul of a man or woman. raze: oh yes. oh no. questions are important, though. kerry: why do teacups have their particular shape? e_o_i: being weird versus relaxed Lovers Lament: I wake at weird times... raze: i would have to say the reluctant start time is 9:00. gosh. kerry: do bugs sleep? specifically cockroaches. they can't just go and go and go right, or else they would overheat, like robots. right? raze: i was gonna ask you to make a joke. nr: let one return and direct the purse over you. raze: what has three eyes, a stationary chin, and nothing to lose? nr: tick-dock hearts will never know until yesterday. raze: if you're domed in and creating sunlight, this is easy. e_o_i: synoopto-reticular? raze: too crisp. too pat. two stones. tender_square: fifteen dollars on the back of a motorcycle? raze: closer than people's heads and hawaii. e_o_i: the duck Totoro? raze: you gotta get it off your chest — what you just hinted and truth'd at. e_o_i: a plus-size sofa with Muslim roots? raze: say, "poor jesus." nr: not today, but tomorrow. before they came over. e_o_i: If Jesus comes, tell him he left his lunchbox. Soma: I can just brush my teeth while I put lotion on to save time. nr: go home, TVs. this took way too long. raze: have an alabama goodbye. nr: i hope you love some chaos too... well, be safe, everyone. 240602 ... nr i am so happy this is back. 240602 ... e_o_i raze: who is john barf? nr: he's someone who's an axe murderer. raze: that's not gonna fly with other people. e_o_i: Not all crimes can logically be done with a needle and thread. nr: so he needs a hangover. raze: it's exactly what he needs, only he doesn't know it. nr: would burning the roof help? e_o_i: discussing the permanence of anti-roof medications... nr: john would’ve evolved the giant squid. raze: oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i look like i'm making a face and trying to protect it from evolving. e_o_i: Pick up a brochure - ensure his voice will be dangerous forever. nr: words of prey. raze: i'm not disappointed. just worried about you. nr: he tucked us in, and us both died. raze: life is a washing machine set on a demonic spin cycle. nr: gifted with superhero? raze: like, when i turned into a carrot, life was very hard. nr: i got a whooole lot of emotions. raze: that man who wants to be destructive ... that *is* telling, because he's not anything you could be. e_o_i: Hi, I'm from Poland. raze: i am not quite sure. e_o_i: My grandmother sat back with her Kuwarnowska thoughts. Putting the name in the line was one of the instructions. raze: so take a significant amount of grain out of the ... uh ... cultural influence, and use it for yourself. nr: i just want a sandwich. raze: how do you say "yoga beef feud" back in the eighties? e_o_i: Foot pizza. Do not elaborate. raze: and even when they tell you your funky monkey barely has enough foot to survive...? nr: last time i think i said "my feet on the guitar" accidentally. raze: superficial feet have a lot of explaining to do. nr: "oh ron, you basket case ninja turtle, you must have started this." e_o_i: "How come there's nobody from India in there?" nr: "i don't know; there was some technological reason behind it." raze: who thought about those poor monkeys? e_o_i: It took me a couple of years now to extend that warm welcome to all species. raze: you're welcome to say hello to the weather along with the grains. nr: talk to the towns. raze: so far away from the wind, my birth talked to the town. nr: i seem to remember them just talking in the freezer. raze: if this ever comes out on dr. phil's show, old leo and his lice man are gonna have a field day. nr: i've never read the show about this scene, but uh... raze: i lost creative control of that show. so yes, i did work at home hardware. nr: gotta put these perspectives back in the fridge! raze: disenfranchised furniture salesman: doesn't seem cold enough from cooling. nr: we dribbled warm wishes. e_o_i: solidarity, unity, community...like the old Christian socialist anthem. nr: and that's twoooo hundred cows of america. raze: america is being serenaded by all these little pedestrians. stuff like that. e_o_i: I'm living in the chorus. raze: my question is, how do you account for that? nr: both of us wear sweetness as an anchor. like the united states. 240705 ... nr these are always brilliant. this one made me laugh on the lawn of the budweiser stage at a show. 240708 ... e_o_i raze: out of the hotness reeked death. there was only one way forward: wayworth, nebraska. the man who acts like water is insulated. he said, "thanks for coming." i said, "yell at yourself for once." trying to convince us both the way forward is through. nr: i'd start walking. get on with it all. raze: there's no such thing as walking. what pisses me off the most is the general movement of man. e_o_i: ...when the world was patting itself over the back, having a candy bar with itself. raze: the only thing i wasn't going for was... e_o_i: An uncompromising dog turd, frozen by gravity. raze: ...and so another story by pam grier — artist, poet, archivist — continues to evolve. nr: it's fancy stuff. raze: do you like it like that? nr: yeah! put that on for SNL. raze: today's guest is jan hooks singing "jock river". nr: we'll take that song and put it in the fridge. raze: i think you aren't a fan if someone dies. e_o_i: Any actor playing Socrates has to take this into account. raze: that old man conned his own country. nr: he’s old. and bald. but not THAT old or THAT bald. raze: he's such a punk asshole. nr: if i was talking to bob dylan, i probably wouldn't be like "fuck you, fuck you!" raze: i did it for a couple other people — not at the same time, but at different times. nr: "fuck you, mr. asshole and your returns. you know who i am"? raze: someday i will not let the time be as lightly eaten by swearing. nr: yeah, so in running shoes, publishing, and hercules... raze: when we merge someone into submission — hemlock or rock — they run away. e_o_i: Meanwhile, in communist Croatia... raze (as an aside): it was such a "digress and deny it" kind of day. nr: yeah, well, it's a nice place. raze: it's something that comes from a different place, that i'm used to. nr: yeah, well, it's a nice place. raze: one more time, and we'll send you out there. nr: island of van morrison? raze: eye willow island! nr: i don't think there's room for pine-curious. raze: if we make it, we'll be clinging to the massive rock of the maple_seed. and i think the bloated symbiosis of a tree. nr: buffalo smile? raze: now it's attached to a tiny giraffe. nr: know the beast; am better! raze: better the soul is in the far soil. e_o_i: So, Latvia, are you grinning about being the Roman Empire? raze: she'll probably come up with two more places that make her think of me and send them to me. e_o_i: If the ringing in my ear is higher-pitched it will mean the money will go to Mali and not to Senegal. raze: how much you gonna put on it? or are you gonna end up in debt again? e_o_i: Weapons on the word for $10. raze: williams is handed a handgun and a hand grenade. nr: does it fight ice cream, or vancouver? raze: in only one capacity: to provide useful meaning to the troops. e_o_i: There was an anti-tank officer. raze: i'm in the army. i'm gonna put it in a hole marked "deceit". e_o_i: Officials at a military academy aren't sure whether a young woman is being buried or promoted, so two of them circle around each other - one in funeral clothes, the other in a celebratory uniform. raze: the letters stand for "celebratory universal highway cake". gja: Portuguese with a drizzle of honey. raze: beautiful flavourful literature. e_o_i: ...when the world was patting itself over the back, having a candy bar with itself. nr: you and i are going out to celebrate a bagel. e_o_i: Please let the gentleman know that if it's bought in Montreal, you don't get a discount. raze: whatever this gentleman needs, he has. whatever he has, he needs. nr: isn't a lunch more dreamboat-y? e_o_i: There really isn't a peanut-butter haggis. nr: you have to ascertain that chickpea situation. raze: put parsley in as a great snack-ender. nr: it would take me back into a... meat. raze: it's something to watch for when you get home, because in that kind of scenario she might think, "this makes a better lunch." nr: it is a real truth. it is a truth physically in trouble. raze: i was a peanut girl, and i didn't want to wait financially. nr: let's give over two million dollars to the yard sale. raze: but god's told me you don't do that very well. nr: i am very good at it. again. raze: it isn't critical to be one of the world's best players at a time like this. on the other hand...i still live with a middle-aged personal trainer named claudio. e_o_i: On the political sidewalk? raze: he would swim through warm salami for me. e_o_i (disbelieving): Wait, white people can swim? nr: other than chad. chad's not good at that kind of challenge. raze: the world is a gift, and he doesn't get it. nr: he preferred "the butcher's bark and the sundance wife." raze: you remember your brother reacting to that story five years ago when you gave it to him, slouching but laughing? nr: don't give him that hook. i just want to look at that hook. raze: hooks? well, there's still a lot. nr: do you like it deforested and English muffin-istic? raze: hey, mediocrity of mutability means never having to say you're sorry. e_o_i: That's not how fabric works. nr: i have a small decor in my mouth. e_o_i: You had a little more ornaments than most people, going into this. raze: like ornaments carved from the glass of our dreams. Lovers Lament: Dreams are all I have left, and those have dwindled to precious few. They don't have the crisp clarity they once did. raze: dreams let me hold things that are close enough to touch but too far away to taste. sameolme: still hanging out no idea what this dream may be kerry: why do we forget our dreams? raze: it gets way worse. i dream classic rock songs sometimes. it's more "gone future romanticism" than "run". e_o_i: Radon Anoxia? raze: everybody hates them for being too prog to be pop and too pop to be prog. years after she gave up on the idea of them doing anything good, they made a masterpiece called "galleria". nr: they conceived a bar called Lady Burp raze: and you don't know what you're going to call the baby when it comes. nr: all hail the individual soul-making, burp him first. raze: i don't think i even named my computer. e_o_i: The nerdiest name is Obadiah Bridgebottom. nr: i think, uh... danny is NOT nerdy. also... try being bearded. e_o_i: On a scale from one to twenty, I think I'll stop now. 240918 what's it to you? who go blather from