nathanial stupidpunkgirl i guy i would never date, because i care too much about him. i guy that i can tell how much i hate boys without offending him. a guy who will talk to josh, who he hates, just to find out some answers for me. he is someone who cares. someone who won't lie just to make you feel better, and someone who has no sense of direction. i wake him up in the mornings for school. he has it hard his parents think he is the anti-christ set to kill his stepmom. they have cameras installed in their house, and he's not allowed on the second floor. no money, no furniture, no love. various "disorders" i want him to have everything in the world. i want him to have happiness 010105 ... little wonder i miss him. i remember when i first met him, in 10th grade at century. i remember opening up the note he wrote me on the bus to read, and starting to cry. i remember angie grabbing it out of my hand and asking "oooo who is this from?" i looked at her and said "nathanial. fuck off." and she gave it back. i remember all the pain he was in and how i couldn't do a goddamn thing about it. i'd write back and wonder if he thought "why does she bother?" i remember taking him to the nurse's office during lunch to weigh him with tara because we didn't believe he weighed 140 pounds...he was so skinny. he did. i wish he still went to SA, but i know he'd hate it a lot more this year. i wish i could actually see him once and awhile. i miss him. 020306 ... blamethesky i saw him the other day downtown...he's still the same. dressed in his lost and found clothes and full of smart-ass remarks. i wish i saw him more often....it's my own fault really that i don't 020307 ... yummyC my brothers middle name. justin Uriah smith isaac Nathanial Smith Jamie Akeao Smith Ariel Ku'ulei christianson-Smith (birth order) interesting.... 020310 ... little wonder i miss being around intelligent people who are just as discontent with the world around as i am, if not more. there aren't very many of them left. 020310 what's it to you? who go blather from