grand_canyon unhinged you made me think about it today sending me that fictional piece of nonficition. i realized that i thought i loved you because it was reincarnation. you are on the edge of enlightenment and people think that makes you crazy. so i'm getting religious in my old age which makes me think that i'm a sell out. there is an explanation for everything and this explains everything so well. burning incense and picking lotus blossoms to emulate with bone trumpets as we walked the path of some weird death. so my mind has taken a turn to the morbid realizings of something right on the edge of sanity. i used to think about how cool it would be if i was cool. but now i just think about the time that i have to read to you. drugs_are_for_children and wannabe religious fanatics. i'm falling back on belief too much these days. the wide cleft of my heart just reaching out towards each other in a strange fetal way. we could stop at a lookout and watch the sun set. 010819 ... unhinged we sat by our lookout. no one else around us understood our conversation but that was they way we liked it. i had already explained a few times that night that our brains were touching each other in a glass jar on some distant planet. what is it about us really noah? "do you get it?" "yes" "of course you get it." you told me you were moving to pa...warren. "what are you talking about? warren is right up the road." "not that warren, warren pennsylvania. i'm going to live with my brother. he said it would help me to get out of the house." "i forgot; you are a wanderer." and you sat on my bed and explained to me with little hand gestures that you had no range of emotion. that everything was confined to a small inch of space between your hands. i never knew you when you weren't talking pills. i have a feeling back then you were a lot more like me. we went outside to smoke one last cigarette together. "i don't know what is about you. when i'm around you i don't have any....inhibitions. is that the right word? you are my ecstasy." when you got up to leave i hugged you and you could just pat me on the sides very lightly. i thought i was suffocating you but i gave you one last squeeze. i could only watch you walk away for about two seconds. "have fun living two and a half hours away." you mumbled something that i couldn't hear. 011208 what's it to you? who go blather from