misstree i have always been drawn to aloofness in the other sex, to casual, haughty distance, and a thread that runs so strongly through me deserves to be explored. until recently, i wasn't sure why i craved such removed passion so strongly, but a few keys have turned... let us open some boxes, shall we?

first, i must reiterate that i am a creature of passion and pride. i am pure sensate, my quest for Feeling my defining pinnacle. when i am in passion's deepest throes, my Self is absent from all else, rapture made real. any mate who would bring me to that point must be able to sustain divine circuit without my guidance or Will. those who are easily Moved are easily lost, their needs a distraction from my quest. those who are truly apathetic have no guiding soul, have no catalyst or kindling. those who are best marked by the word aloof, those who attend to life like sated predators, have both passion's blessing and strong enough Will to guide it. in primal sharing between such a creature and myself, i become vessel, they become guide, and in their care i am free to accept and become More.

another reason, aside from this personal prediliction towards extremes of Feeling... i am haughty, i am willful, and i am easily bored. i can take many men and twirl them 'round my finger, often regardless of the strength of their will or how aloof they *pretend* to be. i am a challenge, i am ancient archetype, and so i draw followers. while occasionally the type that lay their throats bare for me can provide an evening's meal, there is no sacrament of the hunt, no challenge, no fierceness. the vitality of the act is robbed by their submission. and to the other extreme, those that are too removed, too hard, what is there in them for me to echo in? their draw is the cold of frozen winter rather than forged metal. some pretend to power, but such displays are only entertainment to me, a sign that somone needs to be shown just how powerless they are, and i will often show them with an unsounded laugh on my lips.

the openly attracted beg me for yes. the cold tell me no with a shrug. the aloof are always uncertainty, each moment a maddening maybe. it is maybe that keeps me straining into each new movement, maybe that makes me pull at my bindings and taste delicous uncertainty. foreknowledge kills the future. with maybe, all things are possible.

i am powerless against aloof mates, and that powerlessness is the first step to release of the Self to go beyond the Self. whether you regard such ascention as rubbing elbows with the divine or simply meaty bliss, it is my grinning madonna, my unthinkable paradise. aloof bois hold the keys, and i hate and adore them for it.
amy i am super SUPER pissed at myself for being this way when i was younger. but life was so new, and there was so much information. 031016
amy wow, that was astonishing. i didn't even know when i wrote this that it had been blathed for the first time TODAY. hmmm. 031016
clockwork what is a loof anyway? 031124
Syrope i thought it must have been some secret
some smug look you could share
where the key to surviving is to have so much more fun than you ever seem to be having

now i know
it's just
what it is
what's it to you?
who go