hey_e_o_i unhinged ive been neglectful i will respond soon pinky_swear 140204 ... e_o_i That's okay. I didn't mean to put you on the spot by asking for a recording of your music. Or did I say that at all? I might have not said that. But what I meant was hello and I hope all is well. 140205 ... unhinged no worries. i like to share my music (i do have a performance degree after all) but can be a little self_concious about it so i sometimes keep it to myself unless someone asks. the stuff i have recorded at the moment is mostly blues and mostly me singing rather than playing my violin. i tried to forward your email to an address i use more often and the internet foiled me. again. im doing ok. trying to focus on the positive, especially since it was brought to my attention last night by a 'friend' that my conversational skills are depressing and impersonal. (funny how friendship has become nothing but a shallow fun seeking popularity contest to most but thats a rant for another day/page) yesterday downtown seattle was absolutely crazy cause our championship winning football team came home. it took me five hours to get home last night. granted most of those hours were spent reading with mac and cheese and beer rather than trying to fight the throngs hordes and mobs of people ;-) i hope you are well. and warm. its unseasonably cold around these parts. 140206 ... epitome of incomprehensibility How can conversation skills be "impersonal"? That doesn't even make sense. Tell her/him that someone who calls herself epitome of incomprehensibility says that s/he doesn't make sense. I remember you writing, offhand, that you were rooting for the Seahawks and then I saw, glancing at the paper, that they'd won by a ridiculous amount, and I was going to write something to awknowledge, and I forgot, and I'm a run-on sentence. You should do whatever music you like. I find it calming to practice my own songs as well as singing in choir, even as it's becoming increasingly clearer that I don't really have decent recording equipment. Even a book for kids (well, teens) about making music says you can buy a "cheap" mic for $100. But it's fun to experiment. I was going to record some tomorrow since I don't have tutoring then (five classes in a row today, though!) but it turns out my dad needs some help setting up a booksale at the library, and this time I'll get paid for it. ... Anyone can write me at kirs10.a@gmail.com; that need not be secret. 140206 ... unhinged actually my main motivation in cheering for the hawks was to poke at my sister cause the other team playing that day is her favorite. i wore my lucky underwear that day. of course the seahawks won. hehe the parade the city threw yesterday was epic. 700,000 thousand extra people in downtown seattle was...i almost had a panic attack on the bus yesterday morning. epic 140206 ... unhinged i think what he meant about my conversational skills is i dont ask enough questions about him. i dont understand why he cant just interject. ah the male_ego ; i am not good at stroking it. i think thats why im perennially single 140206 ... e_o_i Sounds like a lot of people. I haven't been downtown in Montreal during the hockey playoffs for a while. The closest thing I can come up with was being on the bus to downtown St. Catharines (which isn't all that big a city) on St. Patrick's day almost two years ago. Green clothing everywhere, and the half-drunk girl sitting next to me asked to see the book I was reading - which might have been The Trouble With Genius: Reading Pound, Joyce, Stein, and Zukofsky - and she flipped through it, saying it was "actually pretty cool." She had bright green leggings. Some people find it annoying when I "go off on tangents" or "change the subject". Other people regard it as a talent. What I'm trying to say is that different people expect different things and it's not up to one person to please everybody. I'm dissatisfied for reasons that have nothing to do with being single, but Valentine's Day is trying to convince me I'm worthless if I'm not part of a couple. Attention all storefront windows: I'll choose my own reasons for being dissatisfied, thank you very much! It's making me so angry that I might as well be happy. 140208 ... unhinged i feel neglectful i hope you are well 140218 ... nr are you an INTJ, meyers-briggs speaking? for some reason i see it. 140310 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Close! When I put myself to a rather informal test I came out INTP. Of course, it can't totally put people in boxes but it can predict tendencies: I like a balance of solitude and sociability, a good exercise for me is jogging, etc etc. 140310 ... e_o_i And hi unhinged! Sorry I didn't see what you wrote earlier. I am neither especially happy nor unhappy, although I am smiling at what I just wrote, and I am drinking peppermint tea. How are you? 140310 ... unhinged i was horrible. that boy distracted me for a few months and then tossed me aside cause i'm not enough like his ex. i wish i could make a promise to you that i will review that email you sent me all those months ago, but i'm currently angry and sad and not able to focus on much of anything but all the stupid mistakes i keep repeating in my life. i hope you are well 140525 ... e_o_i No problem, that itself isn't important, and I hope things are going okay. Sorry I didn't say hello back earlier - Saturday was a happily overwhelming day, since my friend J. unexpectedly bought me a ticket for the Tegan and Sara concert at the Metropolis as an early birthday present, and it was great but ear-splittingly loud (to put this in perspective, the last concert I went to involved a string quartet) - and then Sunday was lazy, and today and yesterday have just been busy. So yes, hello back. Hollaback. Bonjour shalom buona sera. Being like or unlike someone's ex - I've a bit of a flipped-around situation: I'm feeling a bit regretful about my unseen_phosphorus_dance partner from Burundi. Sometime a few weeks ago I refrained from seeking him out again because I was afraid I'd fall for him, and I didn't want to do that because he reminded me too much of X the Austrian philosopher, and I was afraid he'd make me care too much and then leave abruptly, like before. Isn't that ridiculous? Just because two people are a) both studying unusual things and b) both from different countries than mine doesn't mean they're identical twins. And now he's working somewhere else for summer break, and I'm afraid I've let a friendship slip away for stupid reasons. But that should be less an opportunity to wallow and more of an incentive to be there for others and abandon_expectation (I think you wrote) or diffuse it, perhaps. 140527 ... unhinged no worries. maybe i should seek out some good live music or go to an open mic and make some of my own. expectations are human. it requires a lot of effort to abandon them. i am in the process of convincing myself that A is an asshole but that is not the whole story and i know it. i cant be what he wants and it painful cause i love and care for him. but i have lots of nasty and vindictive feelings right now that arent good for either of us. i am at a complete loss. i miss him. but i do not want to be vulnerable in any way around him cause he started pointing fingers when we had a disaster of a conversation about where we could possibly go now. i am working a lot. it might not be the best solution but its the easiest. *sigh* lets have a good day 140528 ... tender_square sorry to hear about the international cell phone troubles you're having, mixed with the stress of being in a new place. thinking of you and hoping you find a remedy soon. i look forward to reading more of your german adventures. 230509 ... e_o_i Ah, thanks for the well-wishes! Sending them back threefold or more - I'm sorry about all the stress you're going through. Honestly, for me things aren't so bad. Neither of my bosses got back to me yet - maybe they don't remember where they got the phone. (I wouldn't blame them for that, but they could at least answer.) My university wifi account's set up now, so I can live without the plan, but it's annoying to pay 20 euros for nothing. 230511 ... raze i just wanted to say that i too am really enjoying reading about your immer_immersion experience. i feel like i'm there witnessing each interaction. and your imagined conversation with your mom about the german language was glorious. i hope you're feeling a hundred percent better by now. 230523 ... e_o_i Thanks! Yes, yesterday was the first time I felt fully better from my cold. I hope things are going better with your sleep. It's really frustrating when you can't get the rest you want. I'm doing okay on that front except I keep having interesting dreams and then forgetting them. Last night, I had an involved and complex one that was part board game, part a story I was writing, part a village I was living. I think. All that I can remember now is "something about a forest." 230524 ... raze okay, writing a poem starting_with_three_words is farking brilliant. now i'm waiting for an appropriately evocative configuration to pop up on the homepage so i can try too. 231019 ... e_o_i Thanks! I was going to put the combination on the normal three_words, but the rhythm felt like it needed a rhyme. Also, "wasp" is the best of the bug_reports. 231020 ... raze it's good to have you back. (i hope your face is feeling much better.) 240107 ... e_o_i Much better, thanks! Although holding back a cough made my eyes water. Blathing_on_a_train, crying-but-not-really-crying on a train... The snow here is beautiful. I hope it's still snowing and not raining around Toronto. The forecast seems unsure. 240109 ... raze i didn't want to step on your gross_diagnostic blathe, but i wanted to say that i hope you feel better soon. one of my least favourite things about getting a cold (as if there are any parts worth celebrating) has always been the feeling of congestion that messes with your ability to hear properly. though i do wish i'd thought to record myself singing something a time or two when my voice was in sub-baritone leonard_cohen bullfrog territory. talk about your missed_opportunities. why is that relevant to me trying to wish you a speedy recovery? i don't know. but there it be. 240523 ... e_o_i Thanks! I'm okay - I was feeling bad enough to complain but good enough to do it with internal rhymes. ...and today_yesterday dictates I should BYOB, so I will brb, and now I'm back with byobrb, which means to bring "Barbara's Rhubarb Bar" to apologize for poking fun at the German language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYkBf0dbs5I 240523 ... e_o_i Oh yes, and I remember in colds of yore when I'd be able to sing C below middle C with decent volume. But I hope you don't have to experience the cloud that gives that silver lining too often. 240523 ... nr i said hi to you in person today! and you inspired me to blather and look up jobs and other places in the world. i hope you have a great rest-of toronto/GTA trip. 240530 ... e_o_i Thanks! It was great seeing you!! Remember what you said about dreaming about people you hadn't seen for years? Last night a boy from my elementary school class was in one of my dreams, and I'm sure I haven't seen him since I was eleven. 240531 ... raze you just posted on "sweet_nostalgia" at the *exact* same moment i fired "nostalgic" into the blathosphere. if that ain't some pretty spiffy blather_synchronicity, i don't know what is. 240715 ... e_o_i I just saw that! I was thinking, "Oh, the word nostalgia maybe gave him an idea for a title," but this is so much cooler. 240715 ... raze last night's starting_with_three_words poem was so good it blew my mind like a very strong gust of wind. i'm still finding loose nails. in my brain, i mean. 241124 ... e_o_i Hey, thanks! It was silly of me that I put it in the wrong place the first time, but if you like it, yay! Credit is due to Gilbert, Sullivan, & co., as well as your today_yesterday from a few days back. Oh yes, and Andrew from the summer camp I worked at before Gracefield, because he said people thought he was gay because he liked musicals. "I say 'I like musical theatre,' and people are all, 'Oooh, you like musical *theatre*.'" Now I forget his point, whether he was straight or gay or otherwise, but anyway he was having fun. Was also great at playing guitar by ear, as I remember. So here's to Andrew! And to my brother, who complained at age 8 or thereabouts that the pirate-themed birthday party Mom organized wasn't piratey enough because there were too many girls. (Blame the presence of sisters, including me. And now I'll play the unnamed sister of non-pirates in a play named after pirates, which will dilute the less piratey-ness. The cycle goes on!) 241125 ... e_o_i edits *dilute the piratey-ness (the "less" was from an earlier formulation of that sentence) 241125 ... e_o_i In our version, there are some girl pirates, though. 241126 what's it to you? who go blather from