everything_reminds_me epitome of incomprehensibility ...of him, and it makes me miserable, and it makes me shy away from updating dream_woman and dream_travel. He insists on being in my dreams when he doesn't want to be in my real_life. On the other hand, I have other dreams. 241211 ... e_o_i YouTube unwittingly mocks me for this sentiment. It presents a video of two men staging a duet on the train. Soulfully and melodically, they sing, "Shit in my mouth." But where's the mockery part? In the clip they show, which takes place on a metro (not the Montreal metro - maybe the New York subway), a woman is crying and hides her face, not wanting to laugh at the silliness. Evidently something else is bothering her, but at least two comments interpret it this way: "everything reminds me of him." ... I mean, no mouth-shitting was involved, but silly things DO remind me of him. 241229 ... e_o_i A few days ago, I invited my cousin Lia for Easter dinner. Simple email, no stress - right? Almost right, except that this action reminded me of how I missed David. ... See, last year at around this time, I described Mom's usual Easter meal to him: clove-seasoned ham with peach slices and pineapple rings, the fruits cooked in some kind of curry sauce (I dreamed up a cold version once in iced_curry_peaches). Scalloped potatoes too. Any guests besides the immediate family, he asked? Lia, at least. Then he got a concerned look on his face, or at least I remember he did. (I don't think we were in person or on the phone. Perhaps talking over Whereby. He would have been in the valleylands adjoining Toronto, I in the airplane-ridden outskirts of Montreal. Poetic pilot's license. Where was I? Dorval.) So yes. David, brow slightly furrowed, asked if Lia would eat ham. And if she didn't, did we have something else for her? This concern amused me. I imagined his thought process: 1) Kirsten's parents are religious. 2) Therefore, "religious" is a common property of all of Kirsten's relatives regardless of religious background. 3) Lia is Jewish, therefore she follows kosher food laws and can't eat ham. His assumptions - leaps of faith. (My assumptions about his assumptions - leaps of faith about faith.) So I grin and correct him: Lia's never eaten kosher at home, so Mom's cooking isn't an Inquisition-like imposition of Christianity. (No, but in 2022, she did give areligious David a copy of Mere_Christianity as a Christmas present, which made everything awkward.) Also, the worry was rather endearing because he was looking out for Lia even though he found her annoying. Now, I didn't like that he found her annoying. I wanted him to think of my family the same way I did, which is impossible, but I wanted it nonetheless. For example, I didn't want him to like my mother more than my father (which he did, regardless of her proselytizing attempt). I didn't want him to think my closest cousin was annoying, to object that she "talks too much about things she didn't know enough about." Is that all? Honestly, so do I. So does he sometimes. And so, I bet, does C.S. Lewis. Therefore, I resolve not to invite C.S. Lewis to dinner. 250415 ... e_o_i verb tensing (edit: that last "didn't" should be "doesn't") 250415 ... e_o_i Updating an email contact list for the artisans club and seeing his last name (attached to someone (presumably) unrelated). 250416 what's it to you? who go blather from