choke_me arwyn I remember this as the moment our marriage was done. Without warning, without consent, you choked me during sex and scared the hell out of me. I can still feel your hands around my neck, even though it's been 13 years. I thought about just letting you kill me. Every single time. I was not surprised when you started hitting me. 190514 ... unhinged damn a... sharing your story really helps me with a sticky situation. i am glad you are happy and safe now. (why do men do this during sex?) 190515 ... Twitch Probably porn - or maybe there were/are some real latent psychological problems. At any rate, if you didn't consent, stay the fuck away. Why tether yourself to someone who actually wants to hurt you? I DO have experience with consensual choking. The aim isn't to hurt, but to act out the aggression, power, and lust for domination inherent to our species. All darkness can be transfigured into light if deep down we act from a place of love. If there was no safe word involved - no gesture that you two had agreed on beforehand steer clear. At best he's a poor communicator who thought he'd at some kink. At worst he's unpredictable and violent. 190515 ... unhinged as someone who has had sexual aggression acted out on her nonconsensually almost too many times to count, once again, I question anyone's need to do this, even consensually. why do you need to be aggressive with your sexual partner? the psychological impacts of being aggressively fucked (even if you think you want it)... i am special case i guess. i had my virginity raped away from me and have had very little in the way of healthy sexual relationships ever since. i have been held down against my will. being choked during sex, even by someone i trust, brings up the deep lingering shadows of rape in my life. they say rape is also about power and domination. so if some people that do this have latent psychological issues just makes me wonder how healthy it is for anyone to be doing this, consensually or not. 190515 ... unhinged and as far as the why tether yourself to someone that did this to you without asking goes...being alone and lonely for years will make people accept all kinds of unacceptable behaviors. our primate biology not only creates hierarchies but makes us ache for social connections. i always make stupid choices. sexual abuse twists the mind into some of the weirdest justifications. that is why i stopped having sex years ago. but eventually my biology overtakes my rational mind and usually involves me with the most wounded person possible. 190515 ... Twitch It sounds like you've really been through a lot. You always have us to listen to you. 190515 what's it to you? who go blather from