affame_le_geant_phone_trouble fyn gula saumboo fished about in the pockets of his tuxedo serving coat looking for his phone. the thing was so small he was always losing it. he checked one. not there. he checked the other. nope. he panicked. where was it? all he could find in one pocket was a receipt from the white umbrella mushroom market. he bought a pound of morels and a four inch statue of a woodland faerie that he later gave to synoin for a spontaneous present. in the other side was a dried up, crumpled tim tam he forgot to eat two months ago. "maybe it fell out when the queen crashed on top of me," he thought. he placed his bony fingers on his lips as he tried to remember. scanning the immediate area and avoiding the sight of queen mauvis' drooling, he jumped over her spawling legs like a schoolboy playing hopscotch and actually found the tiny, wireless, technological marvel. however, it was laying (splat!) in a neglected plate of honey that the queen had left on the spanish tile of the bedroom floor for her inhouse pet anteater. his name was hoover and he really sucked. (sorry) it wouldn't have been so bad if he could have just lifted the phone out of the sticky goo and simply wiped it off, but the morning light and the open window ushered in several breakfasting wasps. they were busy pillaging the royal jelly, not only on the wedgewood china plate, but the sleek charcoal grey skwak box as well. a quick estimate of their number saumboo figured was fifteen. the wasps, their stingers vibrating with serious attitude, had voracious appetites and they buzzed with a fragile contentment for saumboo knew from experience that their pseudo felicitous demeanor could change in the blink of an eye to fucking rage. "who are the police sending?" king mal asked, thinking saumboo would have made the 911 emergency call by now. "um...erm...oh...it was...busy," saumboo mumbled, lying like a rug. he felt his nose growing slightly larger. (and you thought it only happened to collidi's pinocchio) he didn't want the king to know he was afraid of wasps. "what!?" the king yelled, incredulous. "911 is never busy. try again, hurry." he was looking forlorn at the hole that used to be his treasured jonamac tree. he waited a few minutes and asked saumboo again. meanwhile, saumboo stood at a distance from the wasps and tried shooing them away, but it only disturbed them and they seemed to eat more ravenously. "um, it's still busy. i don't know what's wrong." he stammered, lying a second time. his nose doubled in size and was quite long. he dared not turn in fear of being discovered by the king. lying in any capcity was immediate dungeon time. "ridiculous!" king mal shouted. "keep trying. i'm going down to the hole myself. tell them to meet me there." 020404 what's it to you? who go blather from