unhinged comes in two forms


cultivating emptiness AND equanimity

to abandon your self importance; to let go of the ego

but the word sacrifice always felt like some kind of torture to me; like pieces were being violently cut out or pulled away. like things were dying. that instead of expanding conciousness, it is shrunken by the act of sacrficing, even if it is giving up bad parts, things.

like the way i sacrificed who i really was to pay the cost of being accepted by others. because humans, as social animals, give_up all kinds of things for that acceptance. the pieces i cut and pulled out of myself because i thought i wasn't good enough, bad, degenerate, unclean.

that the element of faith was missing from my sacrifice, a modern day nonreligion. to mold my self so that no one could dislike me, an unattainable impossibility that could only affirm that i wasn't good enough. this weird cyclical hate directed inward in trying to attempt this all_encompassing love directed outwards.

i was deluded.

i was painfully deluded
PRICE i will hide in the TANK
and i will waer a bright pink T-shirt.
not because i am a coward
but because i want to have a party not kill someone !
unhinged or

making yourself miserable in order to make others happy

(i have finally learned that anyone worth making happy wouldn't make me miserable anyways)
unhinged 'anyone worth making happy wouldn't make me miserable anyways'

unhinged . 150715
lialei Being self-sacrificing and compassionate by nature,
one's spiritual path in this life may mean the most challenging struggle is to persevere. To persevere with compassion, openness and innocence of spirit in a world where it is not appreciated nor valued.
In fact, when you greet the world in this way, often you will be mistaken as naive, intellectually inferior and weak.
Your voice, your wisdom will go unrecognized more often than not. Very seldom will you experience mutual reception of the same openness, respect and compassion.
Your ego will be tempted again and again to rise in defense here.
It takes an ultimate strength to endure here and not let the world hinder, nor change your pure path.
It takes in insane amount of strength to continue on as you are with faith that, although not presently valued here and now, it is all valued immeasurably in ways unseen and beyond time and place.

Who looks out of these eyes and experiences the shame that goes with being real in an unreal world? Who experiences the immense sorrow (at times) of such? It is not us. It is not the ego. The ONE who experiences KNOWS. And still endures on somehow, regardless. This is rebelliousness, passion and strength of spirit beyond measure.
unhinged .

how to keep myself strong in face of the world that doesn't value my compassion has always been a struggle for me
what's it to you?
who go