unhinged i pour it into them and most of them don't realize why. and then maybe even those that realize don't quite get to what extent i love them. to what corners of my heart they occupy.

but i stopped telling people why. i stopped telling people how. i just quietly show them, waiting, hoping for the one that gets it.

it's really not a good way to communicate love, for myself at least. don't get me wrong; i love the look i can place on someone's face when they like the food i cook for them, or they like the gifts i give them. and i can't say that my intention is the same for everyone. sometimes it really truly just wants to beget friendship. and then other times i hide myself behind the guise of friendship. because having them someway is better than noway.

i try to content myself with those looks. the looks of satisfaction when i fill someone's belly and their tastebuds with my bomb ass cooking.

because i'm hoping my actions will show what i can't bring myself to say. because i've run out of words to describe what it feels like for me to be so in_love with someone that i could forcibly content myself with friendship because after all friendship is better than nothing.
unhinged i don't think you get it dear
how i love you
the spark in you
that made a fire in me

and you were in the neighborhood
with your girlfriend
having lunch
and stopped to bring me the leftovers
the fire in me
silently squelched
because i'm accustomed to
living on the leftovers
past we drip furiously, sweating alone. to quiet to live in public, and to loud within to stay within our own minds. 080606
Sahba I will live longer than I ever wished for.
I will watch the world fall upon itself.
I will see my loved ones change and go astray,
I will find family and love many a stranger,
The winds of time will come and they will go.
But I will still be there.
Set in stone. My foundations are strong.
I will see myself burn,
And rise again, from the ashes into the sky.
I will watch the flame of life within me die,
And in the end, when they rest my stone upon the grave,
The sky will go Grey, and the rain will fall.
It will lash upon the stone, till my name is finally gone.
what's it to you?
who go