staring_at_the_walls Bizzar I wonder if you even realize youre hurting me. Im curled up in a little ball just waiting for my next lashing. Every innocent phrase you say hits me like 1000 knives. And you dont even realize what you are doing. Why? Because Im a coward and I cant tell you how I feel. Youll think Im weak... well guess what. I am weak. And its all your fault. The salt from my tears makes it hard to close my eyes. I wish I knew what it was that makes you happy. Id try until the day I die to become that. Whatever it is that would make you happy. I want nothing more out of life. I have so much to lose, and you have nothing. You have no worry. You are strong with me, and youd be strong without me. So if we part youd wake up the next morning and go on about your day like nothing ever happened between us, and youd leave me drowning in my tears. Tossing and turning, my eyes make patterns on the walls. I wish that I couldnt feel my heart breaking. I wish that I couldnt feel... 030330 ... Piso Mojado observing echoing footfalls from tenants wandering distant halls then this one is for you if children playing all around to you is noise not pleasant sound and you'd be lost on the playground then this one is for you all alone the life you lead a silent diner where you feed bow your head pretend to read this one is for you slip past strangers in the street there's no one that you care to meet longing for your TV seat this one is for you 030330 ... birdmad the walls, the ceiling, the floor. anywhere for a flash of inspiration or an answer that never comes. Tired of these evidences of construction as my only company, of futile things i didn't need to know, tripping over them like a skateboard in an unlit driveway or one of those railroad ties that leaves evidence of my lacerated palms on the black rocks at my feet. i had to take this walk on that old twisting path, because it sounds as if my song has come to it's end and i have to bow out of this dance. all a dream, and like a mist evaporates when i rise 030330 ... god i was in a stall down the hall from the mall. i stared at the wall. 030330 what's it to you? who go blather from