dreaming_like_i_used_to unhinged there was this big chunk of my life starting with my senior year in high school where i stopped dreaming with the clarity and frequency i did before stress stole my dreams from me. it seems to have lasted until recently. dreams_connect_me_to_you last night i had a dream i was dating the professor that lives on the corner of where i used to live. i think it's his grey hair and the fact that he pulled a napkin of scrawlings out of his pocket when we were having some drinks together. and the fact that he has a thing for younger chicks. too bad i was friends with his son; that makes it seem wrong somehow. which i guess doesn't stop me from dreaming about it. and then i had some vague nightmare about running from something scary like zombies...legions of scary things after me that wanted to kill me. i don't remember if i was alone or not. but i forgot how entertaining dreams can be. 080804 ... unhinged stop_it_stop_it_stop_it passed out tequila dreams two boys twisted up in my subconscious into one trauma one pressed on me too strong to push away held me down how could i work with bruises on my face? 'i see what game you're playing' no_no no game i say what i mean no_no and i couldn't help thinking of the other when it was apparent he wouldn't stop thinking ' if_only i was with you' if_only didn't you see? i wish that was the dreaming part that i could wake up from it that i wasn't violently used but he called yesterday he's either stupid or a sociopath and it was the other's birthday so i ran out for some tequila passed out and dreamed: the table that used to be my altar was broken. nails poking out, the back coming off like the drawer to my desk that got broken when you helped me move. i tried to put it back together, hold it, put it back together. but when i touched it, it fell apart, irreparable. 080812 ... Syrope instead of being my hero in them now, though, you're the annoying immature comedic relief that creates an irritating situation from which i have to rescue myself. so much more realistic. 080813 ... unhinged you cut off your dreads. the resulting leftover hair was patchy, straggly. i almost didn't recognize you when i saw you on the street. i hope everything is ok. 080912 what's it to you? who go blather from