the_death_of_marmaduke edgar beelzebub smythe Marmaduke Cutbert Reginald Marmaduke was a fine, upstanding homosexual. He was educated at Eton and Oxford and in that time he perfected his rhetorical skills to such a degree that even the most carpet-soiling remnants of a severe and sudden bout of diarrhoea could be made to seem as sweet and delectable as the most velvetine of sherries. As those of us who knew him well will know,( and admittedly that is only me), Marmy had a taste for young boys. However, when he was seventeen and while spending a night in a coldhouse for fondling his young cousin james, he vowed never to have sexual relations with a child again. He spent the next sixty years rigourously honouring this promise, though it was not uncommon for him to pinch the botttom of a passing child, which he did with the utmost decorum and insouciance. Throughout his life Marmaduke Maramaduke bore a certain melacholy streak. In part this was due to his overbearing mother hilda and his inabilty to admit his sexuality to a cruel and judgmental world. But for all the hardships endured, Marmaduke never once lost his personal faith in man, which is why he dedicated his life to politics, this being, he thought, the most likely medium through which he might reach out and make a difference in the world. Sadly politics, like mankind in general, rejected marmaduke in favour of more mercenary men, men hellbent on fulfilling their ambitions at whatever cost, even at the expense of their friends and confidants. Indeed, Marmy's life can be seen as a salutary lesson to us all. Those sensitve to the human condition are rarely rewarded by their fellows. Instead they are ostracized, derided and put upon, cast out into the wilderness to fend for themselves and condemned to live on scraps. Marmaduke's politics were perhaps too far ahead of their times. The conservatives rejected him as being too conservative and the liberals scorned him as a delusional. Sadly, his famous catchphrase "down with everything since pericles" found little support amongst the urbane modern electorate.We all of us know, however, that popularity is no yardstick by which a man or indeeed a political stance can be judged. It was this lack of acceptance that cuased Marmaduke Cuthbert Reginald Marmaduke to tkae his own life on the second of september 2003. He was found alone in his book lined study, hanging from the light fittting by a pair of his mother's suspenders with a hitherto unexplained orange in his mouth and the words "i could hold on no longer" scribbled backwards in crayon accross his bare torso. From all of us at the pro-marmaduke alliance and all those who knew and loved this beautiful man I salute you, "frater ave atque vale". 030911 ... edgar vote_marmaduke marmaduke_the_early_years 030912 ... karl the weed lol when i saw the title i thought of the comic strip. man i hate that comic. 030912 ... oldephebe yeah, i though it was about the termination or something of the comic strip which i adored as a kid, adored?, um his antics provided me with much fodder on those lean sunday winter mornings in the hinterlands of southeastern pennsylvania. Um that was an eloquent eulogy, you must have loved him very much - and yes now i need to qualify that by saying - i mean in the intimate profound way of blood brothers..that kind of an unshakable bond.. ... 030912 ... pipedream oh, thank god, it wasn't the dog! which isn't to say that mister marmaduke's passing is any less tragic, but oh, thank god it isn't that big slobbery squiggly doggie! *wipes her brow* 030914 ... oldephebe i've been had..i say old boy..a nice bit of fabricatio wot? ... 030925 what's it to you? who go blather from