random_thoughts_on_a_monday unhinged by popular demand...and being that it's monday i really wanted to cut myself today so i called my mom. all she did was bitch but it took my mind off my problems and i talked to my dad and my brother. talking to my brother always helps because i know he loves me. 020304 ... little wonder my brother and sister went from homeschooling back to regular school today. it came up with the divorce...i think it was ok for them though. i feel so bad, because my brother didn't know most of his math homework. and i had to teach him really basic concepts and i'm not the most patient person in the world but i tried. everything is here all at once and i'm trying to break it down and make it more manageable but that's so much easier said than done. 020304 ... yummuchuckle Logan called for me but I wasn't home. wasn't he the silly boy who said long distance relationships don't work? not that i'm implying that we have one... I was at Donna's (aka my bestfriend that moved to CA to live with her dad, 's mom. aka second mom)and she vented about stuff to me and its usually the other way around. I actually felt useful. and It was strange. she also made me lunch cus shes obsessed with cooking. yum. so sean ....sean...shawn...shawn... urgh!!! does he or does he not want me?!?!??! IS MATT TELLING THE TRUTH?!??!?! WHY WOULD HE LIE?? is micah playing things down? matt playing things up? I would ask sean...shawn...myself, but he's already been interveiwed by our two mutual friends. im such a dork. i probably ruinned it. ok. im over it. over it over it. no rejection. no pain. oh my god he probably hates me. god why would he like me? oh god i overanalyze everything. but maybe he kinda likes me. at least we could be friends. i made things awkward...its all doomed. i better move on to someone else. I have 3 months before I see Logan. 3 more months of being single might murder dependant ol me. plus I really want to have some one to kiss and make out with and stuff. beats sitting on the computer. ah but logan! ah but JOhnny! what will i do? oh such conflicted feelings. 020304 ... silentbob i hope people i write about in my diary dont find it. theyd be unhappy 020305 ... littleidiot hey. what do you know: today is monday. 021118 what's it to you? who go blather from