i_find_it_kind_of_funny birdmad that for someone who is has been written off in the past as being "all talk," my dwindling number of teeth and my increasing number of aches and pains that greet me upon waking up every morning seem to sing a different song. I thought i saw a certain shitbute former roommate of mine at the new Super Target that just opened a couple of blocks up the street from my new apartment last week. just as i was leaving the nen's room this guy comes in and gets a sudden look on his face that leaves me all perplexed until just after i exit le pissoir at which point i look back and see whether or not he has come out from there. nothing. i prowl the aisles that leave me a line of sight to where the restrooms are and if he did not sneak out right behind me he sat tight until i gave up there was a cop nearby, patrolling an intersecting path in front of the registers between me and my prey so i could not go for the hard charge, to my chagrin. i'd have been prepared to ignore him, but something brought her to the forefront of my mind again, all these years later...a song, a face that looked like her. a decade of futile stupidity on my part, the classic diabetic symptom...a wound that refuses to heal. if it has simply been her rejection, independent of anything else, i could probably let it go, but something always reminds me that she gave this human stain a second and then a third chance where she gave me none at all and i hate him that he repeatedly proved undeserving of those chances. thankfully, though, while i still hold these grudges, i don't let them bury me in the same crippling melancholy that i used to wallow in all those years ago when i first showed up here. now it is just a minor spleen venting 071120 ... indeed mad_world 071120 what's it to you? who go blather from