i_dont_want_to_be_me love & hate I dont want to be me, i just want to be someone else or noone at all. I am tired of this life and it torturous ways. This is as much as i can take of this thing called love. I dont want to be here, i dont want to exist, i just dont want to be me. Please let me be someone else, someone different other than myself for i am tired of being who i am. I dont like who i am for what i have done and what i have been through. No one should have to go through what i have. Please, let me be anybody but me. I am my own worst enemy and she reminds me she's here every day when she makes me stare in the mirror to see her and what she has become. Make it stop, please, i dont want to be me anymore, i have had enough! 040424 ... thieums I was thinking like that, long ago... Everyday waking up with that thought in my mind, that hatred of myself. I wanted to die. I chose to go abroad. Going away is almost like dying, you loose your friends, your family, in the hope of something better. Then, being far away, I remarked that some of my friends forgot me fast, but others kept contact. I remarked my family took at least a bit care of me. I also had a new insight on myself, due to the new culture and people I met. So I discovered the old "me" wasn't so bad as I thought it was, and the new "me" I was creating got a bit of self-confidence. The journey is almost over now. I didn't reach inner peace, but I feel strong enough to go back to the ones that cared and show them "here is what I am now". I am not "me" anymore, but I am still me in some way... I just lost self-hatred and all the despair that I was carrying along. Be what you want to be... 040424 ... notme i_am . 040424 ... love & hate I have just done the same thing. I ran away from all my problems. I moved country in hope that they wouldnt follow me but the people would. It was the worst decision of my life. Everything has changed, i dont care anymore, i dont want to be me. I just want to be anybody else. My problems will follow me wherever i go, except death. now that is a different matter. Once i'm gone, they will all dissapear too. That is all i long for, the sweet, soft comforting of death at my doorstep. It will come to save me. 040425 ... kookaburra can i be you? just for a day please?? 040425 ... minnesota_chris but you're nice, kookaburra. 040429 what's it to you? who go blather from