in_the_moment unhinged you the second chance a few weeks prior i had surprised myself at the same busstop when i told her how i felt about her and kissed her. but my bravado only went so far. yet another perfect person i was willing to_be_friends with even though she made my heart do somersaults because friendship was better than nothing. but something in her eyes the whole evening loosened my heart and the drugs loosened my lips and there i was at a crowded busstop saying things i wouldn't even say and doing things i wouldn't even do in private. at a crowded busstop two blocks from where we both worked. the electricity of physical affection made me want to sweep her off her feet for one quick second but the iron clamp i usually keep around my heart snapped back into place. i kept my tongue to myself at least. the bus came at exactly the right moment to save me from any further action. her 'i love you too' ringing in my ears. one early morning at work she must have felt the weight of my stare, made sure to explicitly state how straight she was. she was an artist too and i was not the first woman to come on to her. her inflection on the word 'love' ringing in my ears. echoing back the laugh of a different woman from decades before 'but you of all people should have known i wasn't gay'. one kiss at a busstop does not a lesbian make. we never mentioned it to each_other, just to other friends. i didn't need to hear her say it again. i needed her any way she would have me; even if it wasn't the way that i wanted. a couple weeks later i stopped at the same bar after work alone and you sidled up in the empty space next to me. five hours later i found myself at the same busstop with you. this time as the bus came you were the one to grab me at the waist and pull me close, lips reaching mine. this time i couldn't keep my tongue to myself but the only found teeth in return. chaste but insistent, something i wasn't used to. the bus came and i let you go without a backward glance. 200903 what's it to you? who go blather from