amateur_photography_tips The Schleiffen Man If you're unsure how your pictures are coming along, don't be afraid to open the camera and hold the film up to the sun for a sneak peek. Some photographers use a tripod for stability, but for maximum steadiness, use a dodecapod. Variety is key! For a change of pace, try folding back the labial lips. If surrounded by a group of thugs who want to steal your camera, simply fawn over them and insist that you can make them stars. Shutter speed is crucial in photography somehow. Don't take your film to Walgreens for development. Those guys are, like, Nazis. Rather than gawking at attractive women who pass you on the street, take a picture. It will last longer. Make sure the subjects of your photos are always smiling. No one likes a frowny-face. Amaze your friends with the remarkable Mini Secret Spy Camera! Fits in pocket. Undetectable. Weighs 2 1/2 oz. Precision ground lens. Film included. Super! . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.25 Vinnie DiResta of Brooklyn, NY, has got something you can take a picture of right here. Dogs wearing funny hats always make for a powerful artistic statement. European photo magazines are an excellent way to see naked women without feeling like a dirty lech. Kodachrome film will give you the nice bright colors, give you the greens of summer, make you think all the world's a sunny day. Oh, yeah. Avoid photographing Native Americans, because they believe taking a picture steals a part of a person's soul. Instead, take pictures of Germans. They eat that shit up. 000912 ... The Schleiffen Man oops! Courtesy of www.theonion.com 000912 ... silentbob Also, your stop bath liquid is meant to have water. but when it doesnt it smells really good. pour a bunch into the tub and let the entire darkroom fill with the stench. The burning in your nose is normal. When you pass out try to swallow your tongue for maximum comfort 000913 ... Photophobe If your prints don't come out, just apply more fixer. That stuff fixes everything. Remember, photographic suppliers are always trying to cheat you. Always open the packaging and check for the grain on the paper. Many store owners will become irate if you open too many packets before selecting one, but its better to be safe than sorry, right? 010705 what's it to you? who go blather from