i_miss_her di luce I miss her so much that I'm having trouble breathing. Why did she have to go off to see him? Why? So horribly ironic and sour this trip is. She made sure to cut things off with me before this trip. She wanted to have the option of being with him without feeling guilty about me. I guess it's humane. I guess. Why him? It just doesn't make sense. There's something horribly wrong about this. 030212 ... I nsat I miss her so much I sometimes cry myself to sleep. Miss the friendship she gave me, the unconditional love, the humour in my life and the reason to keep going when life got too tough. No matter the retorts I gave her when I went through one of my many moods she was always there for me, always encouraging and praising me when I needed it most. How I miss the encouragment to go for it from her. She was the voice on the end of the phone wanting a chat or to listen to anything and everything I had to say. Till the day many months later I went to pick up the phone and started to cry because I remembered she was no longer there. No longer that familiar voice, no longer that familiar sight to see. Suddenly my heart realised exactly what it was missing for so long, the love of a mother. I once told her that if I could be half the Mum she was to me, then my children should always be able to trust me and know that I will always be there for them, unconditionally with arms wide open and full of love. She cried and hugged me when I said that. I do still stand by what I said, if my children can think on me in the way I do my mother, I know I have at least gotten something right in this life. I miss her so much and the thing that keeps me going now is, I know one day we will be together again. I love and miss you Mum. 030213 ... penguinrage Its been too long since i've seen her. Im sorry i left you but im still here and still waiting... Torn from you by the path i made for my self but now my path has fanned, fanned out to any direction you go. 031015 what's it to you? who go blather from