her_boyfriend jane i can hear them kissing through what we once called walls which now serve no protection from intruding noises her laugh, once jingling in my memory now penetrates through newly-washed hair and through my auditory system hitting my medulla like a gong waiting all day for you, my love and lonely thoughts have got me blue, my love where once was one should now be two, my love its said that we are through, my love 050216 ... who else he was fat he actually wasn't that smart he wasn't that nice either i was lonely i was bored i'm still bored, hell it was cold he was older he had friends he was the boy from the burger king ad oh well it was the first it was dumb he hit me once in bed and later he pulled my hair from the back and i fell on the floor he never drank, never smoked, no fucking fun got more fat, i got kinda fat too i was bleeding from my crotch, not on a period he moved away droppped out of law school my dad got cancer my mom got cancer i broke up with him he never gave me back my suitcase, my book about snl, my gym shirt, my hat, or nine months when i could have been doing something else other than being guilted into sucking his hairy chode of a fucking excuse for a dick. but i have other books. i don't know how to say i'm sorry because everyone says that and it's lame and i'm pretty lame i'm an ape i'm a child i'm confused i was a virgin i drink too much i'm superficial i'm jewish i'm a golddigger i'm a venture capitalist i'm cold i'm wall street i've lost it and i'm small and what happened is heavier than this earth and it scares me that we are still animals dead dogs should lie there are better people in the world than I and you're a better writer but to every season turn turn and i just thought i'd let you know 060927 what's it to you? who go blather from