unhinged jeff

'because your candle burns too bright
well i almost forgot it was twilight
even if i think that you are right
i'm tired of being down
i got no fight
you're wonderful
and it's beautiful
but i'm already somebody's baby
and if i went with you
i'd disappoint you too
well i'm already somebody's baby
already somebody's baby'

from 'twilight' by elliott_smith

to_my_boys cause i don't think i can love anyone else the way i love you guys. *sigh*
unhinged my arielle
my cuddle_bug

holding you the day you were born changed my life. sometimes i forget that when i'm far away. how perfect and sweet; the way your little hands covered my tear filled eyes because if you couldn't see it, it didn't exist. or the way your little hand covers mine when you sit in my lap and you gently pat it reminding me of my long gone grandma. so young and so old all at the same time. everytime i hear grandma tell me how much like me you are. today i would love to play with you and cuddle you and watch the incredibles with you and go swimming in the pool with you.

sometimes it really rips a hole in my heart being so far_away from my cuddle_bug s.


my little o_man. that i really haven't got to watch grow up. the little asthmatic tasmanian devil so much like his uncle jeff. but a little pisces and sometimes all i have to do is look in his little eyes. the way you climbed in my lap when you saw your sister cover my eyes and throw your arms around my neck. my cuddle_bug s.

my brother. the first and last things i got at the airport in honolulu, big jeff size hugs. lately, i feel guilty for all the things that happened to you when i was away at college. all the things you hid from me because i wasn't there to know what was going on. i know, i know, i shouldn't feel guilty for that. for all your growing_up that had to happen when i wasn't around. but of course, i want to protect you from that stuff. because i love you. and today, i would just like a jeff sized hug. or a boy just like you to give me a jeff sized hug. i guess that would be a good enough substitute.
unhinged i called you knowing you wouldn't answer
when i scripted the voicemail
it was the tag

but when it got to the point
where it should have spit out of my mouth
'aaaaahhhh. weeell. i'll talk to you later'
what's it to you?
who go