i_first_saw_you Staind_And_Souless I first saw you from across a room. The wide open space; a dirty floor and blue walls covered by black material, suddenly didn’t seem so large. I felt like I was standing next to you, breathing you in, taking you in, asking myself “Who is that girl?” I remember it like it was yesterday. It almost was. We smiled at each other, and I put on my mask and went to talk to you. But you saw through my mask. Too easily. You kissed it away form my face, and gave me a new life, a new purpose, a new love. The one that changed my life. Sometimes I try to imagine what my life would have been like if you hadn’t been in it. But it’s impossible. Everything in it now has been touched by you. Al my favourite clothes, my perfume, my hands, my arms, and that spot on my stomach which you used to nibble and make me squirm. Lazy Sunday afternoons on the phone, where we’d pretend we were together. Our imaginary flat, which ew drew floor plans for, and remembered where everything is. I still know what CD is in the CD player. I still remember the colour of the carpets, how we both painted the walls to piss each other off, the way you would storm off to your room just so that I could come and find you and convince you to come back again. I remember the stolen kisses. When we used to breathe out our souls into each other’s mouths. We were in love. The most amazing type of love – the one that changes lives, that moves mountains. But not your parents. They tore us apart, and since that day all we have had is pain. The anniversary of that day is fast approaching. I still have that fateful chat log. I still know every one of those texts. I am still waiting for those times again. I tried to be with others, but failed. I cannot do it. But you can. You’ve found another, and moved on, but I can’t. Why can’t I? What was so special about the way you kissed me that no other can come close? I can never, ever make up to you what I’ve done to you. And my hope has died now. The last time I saw you, you were running away from me. 041213 ... marked . 041213 ... anon. touching. 050112 what's it to you? who go blather from