Death of a Rose For all my past misdeeds,
even though I don't consider myself religious.

I do this in thoughts and in action, most of the time,

It just seems that no matter how much I try to do, I believe I have more to do. Am I crazy for trying to be a more compassionate human? I don't want to believe that, but sometimes I get the feeling I'm delving into realms where I haven't a say but still wander.

Is this atonement I seek religious in nature? I don't know, since I seem to facilate between agnostitism and belief. It troubles me deeply, as I experience events that seem unexplainable and yet in the next moment I've rationlized things so that there isn't a higher power.

This duality doesn't respect me, towards learning that alchohol (sp?),
is killing me.

I recently learned I may have diabetes, and I've been ignoring it.

Does it matter to others, my family, my friends? I try not to think so, but in reality it does. I'm hurting people I love, as I've hurt them throughout the past misfortunate years I've lived.

I've attended the meetings, done the steps, well, 3 of them at least, before I lost whatever will I had to continue. Why am I like this? Why do I rely on strangers on a website to provide me with comfort and solace?

I have too many questions and few answers. Should anything happen to me I wish my family and my blather compatriots to just remember me. That's all I ask. A man who did things he shouldn't have, when he penned his thoughts in bad poetry.

Please remember me, despite all the mispelled words, despite my failures.

. . 071219
Lemon_Soda Granted.

So long as I live, someone will remember you.
pete of course i will. 071220
auburn I have remembered you for four years and counting.

(And I care that you're ignoring your diabetes)
Doar thank you blather_compratiots.

I was a bit embarrassed coming back to this blathe.

you know I heart you all.

but not in a squishy way.

because of the sounds it makes....erm.

shiestygirl does the stolen sperm of a diabetic taste sweeter? 071231
Doar You're steaing my sperm?

When did this happen?

Did I get any enjoyment out of it?

Dammit, more questions I don't know the answer to.

past doar.. hugs 080801
Doar hugs back past,

and check back with you later Lemon.

Doar I think I'm done atoning.

I'm not good at it.

what's it to you?
who go