andie written 11-29-00

the more i reach for him
the farther away he seems
my mind is unsettled in knowing
life with me will not satisfy him
he needs something more
to be great

how can i tell him of the success
he is at loving me
how his presence chases away
the nightmares that have haunted me
since my younger years
that his kiss casts a spell over me
i think i'll never come out of
or how the way he looks at me
gives me all i'll ever need or want

seeing him as he is right now
and knowing i can do nothing for him
tears at my heart
instead of showing him that
i bite at him and shove him away

and now i'm unsure how to bridge
the gap between where he
fitfully stands and i am
begrudgingly put

copyright 2000
ClairE One more year. We're a little older and it's somewhat comforting to have the knowledge that we've gone through this before.

If only that.
birdmad i find myself feeling alone_and_unsure 030524
ClairE Same mistakes. Drifting a little farther offshore each time. 031013
once again once_again I find it nessacary to cover these pages with the grafiti of my soul. 031014
once_again is not important 031102
Death of a Rose don't stop once again. 031102
serrated seraphim How old is once_again? 040325
dondeestanlosjaguares forgive the seriousness
i didn't come here to sympathize
i didn't come to be your friend
just give me a reason to walk away
to say goodbye and not look back
because i'm done lifting your weight

my shoulders, my back, my neck
can do you no more favors
my heart, my fragile emotions
have been shattered far too often
shards of memories is all that remains

but looking in your eyes
seeing that dreadful pain
makes me want to say you deserved it
and yet something inside keeps stirring
wants to make me kiss those tears away

i can't resist laying down
so you can step all over me again
i can't say no to your torture
it's a bittersweet nectar
that satisfies and leaves me wanting more

I'm just a masochist
for letting you do this to me once again
why can't i stop it
why am i so powerless
and once again
i don't understand
once again And everyday it's over
And everday it's starts
And everyday I'll ask
just once more and again

And every moment shared
And every moment lived
And every moment I love
once more and again

I've done it once
I've done it twice
I'll do it all over
just once more and again
what's it to you?
who go