losing_it typhoid you got to know me well enough, you thought, to be able to hurt me when the time came knew what would hurt me the most well, the time came and it hurt and i can see that everything you say is truth so i internalized the pain but it's bubbling out and making things messy 000925 ... realistic optimist i can already feel it slipping. i woke up to the me who is tripping over his words and his thoughts; over concepts that he's fought himself over and over again can't seem to win outstretched hand grasps shifting sand this isn't how i swear i'd planned 031019 ... her royal highness the quirk amazing how one little misheard word can send me into a downward spiral. how memories i thought i'd buried safely away can come flooding back. i hate you. you bastard. i should have run over you when i had the chance. 040318 ... gone virginity_lost 050512 ... olives&grapes gone with the wind losing_my_virginity floating in the netherregion somewhere with my socks and paperclips i wonder if you have a collection 050512 ... . welcome to the virginity lost and found. i've found and collected loads, but unfortuantely none of you can have your's back, not even with proof of identity - sorry. 050512 ... in a silent way it was never yours to begin with. 130203 ... unhinged grasping clinging and then eventually i get so tired i can't hold on anymore and the relief of letting_go is tangible some things really should be abandoned 130203 ... FA113N Theres always a certain dynamic in a relationship, wgete someone had the upper hand. Control. Power. Wearing the trousers. Whatever you want to call it. Everyone is so afraid of losing it. I used to be. But there's a difference between losing it and giving it up. Sometimes she laughs at me when I make this point. Sometimes she thanks me. I let her. I am not used to not being in control. With anyone else I would be climbing the walls by now, acting distant and mysterious, withholding until I got it back. But I'm content to sit back and let her drive, because I'm enjoying the ride. 130203 what's it to you? who go blather from