echoing_thought
unhinged i want
i want to peel
i want


i want to peel my skin off
i want
i want to peel
my skin off




i want to peel
my skin off with a
with a
with a
razorblade

i want
040426
...
birdmad vivisect 040426
...
monika I want more
I want you
echoes in my head

I want this
and that
What don't I want?

sadness, anger, hatred...

go away
050328
...
unhinged . 050716
...
unhinged my wrist itches again
the itch only steel can scratch
051005
...
unhinged om

om_mani_peme_hum
om mani

padme hung
padme hung




suffering
suffering is
suffering
suffering is a universal
universal
condition
con dition ion ion

om_mani_padme_hung
om om om om
hum hum hum hum

let me liberate
liberate
liberate
all those that are unliberated
cultivate_compassion
cultivate_compassion ssssssssion

my enemy enemy enemy
is my best stststst
teacher
lama lama lama lama

make
make make make
peace
peace peace peace cccccceeee

right sssssppppeeeeecccchhhh
speech
sssspeechhhhh

om_mani_peme_hum
om_mani_padme_hung
061026
...
unhinged while there's some lines i just refuse to cross anymore, it's the first thing that pops into my head when the skin at my wrist starts to itch 080426
...
unhinged i want to pull
pull
pull
my skin off today
080528
...
no reason and i'd like to pull out my insides
maybe we could build a whole other being
080528
...
unhinged om_mani_padme_hum 100103
...
unhinged my skin itches today 100124
...
unhinged has been strong this week


i wish i wasn't so sensitive sometimes
i wish i didn't let myself get pushed around
101209
...
unhinged has been back lately. i feel the memory of the way the blade used to bite the skin of my left forearm. i push the thought away. but here it is again. i scratch compulsively. i stop; i'm ashamed.


but really, this has always been about inexpressible intangible pain. it is welling up in me again from some deep hidden place. no matter how i try to cover it, it always comes out in the end.
160419
...
unhinged .

(i scratched compulsively. the marks i left behind weren't satisfying enough. maybe it's time for some new_ink )
170811
...
unhinged the cascade of bullshit empties into a pool of itchy skin


lonely tired itchy skin that isn't satisfied from scratching
180510
...
unhinged hello old friend. what do you need? how can i help? 190513
...
unhinged new_ink needed 190521
...
unhinged you are a failure
starting_over won't make a difference

you failed at grad_school
you failed at your career
you failed at any relationship you've ever had
you failed at holding on to the love the universe sent you (that the biggest failure of all no matter how you try to sugar coat that abortion)


you are a failure
that is where trying always leads

why bother?
190820
...
unhinged itchy skin
maybe later
200623
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from