stagnated sab quietly waiting without ability to move skin_bones_and_soul 070106 ... the awful truth Stagnated. this is what i am this is where i end up, with a life without a plan this where we end up, building castles in the sand building pyramids of stone so we enslave our fellow man Emaciated. This is what i am starving, lacking love and the touch of human hands Thirsty in the Rain we wander through the lands Slowly, through time, the Band becomes the Man Isolated. this is what we are. we're writing off the written world and looking to the stars. we're filling up the planet with our appartments and our cars we ain't come very far. we ain't come very far. Elated. this is what i Be The feeling on my tongue when i realize what I see the look inside the eyes of my fellow human beings as we're fighting, fucking, flying through our written history Elated: the tao in you and me. i submit to be quoted, "we're all already free. there's no chains within this world but the ones we create Tasting vinegar and smiling. Watch me demonstrate." 070107 ... Ouroboros i think it's time to go home. return to the states. my energy is gone, my spirits are low, my mind feels blank, my body is worn, my hands are cramping in that special "i'm hyperventilating" way, etc. time to return. stagnated, frozen, or finished. same same 070107 ... samjamala well...it feels a little like that. The recent injury (Tendonitits) rendering me unable to play my instrument, now I sit at this fucking computer all day. Starting to learn Sonar, though. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise; if I can get my hands on a decent midi keyboard and a better soundcard, I could be in business here. then it dawns on me: if the pc does all it appears to be able to do, then i don't have to hire the xtra musicians to perform the hard and/or syncopated parts. this, of course, means more of the gig money getting spread less thinly. so all is not lost. but i miss practicing. and practicing. and practicing. and with all this free time, i keep thinking of her. i was pretty close to fading the memory. the patina had already begun it's copper glaze over her smile, and i can't smell her hair anymore. but now....(sigh).... gotta get out of this stagnation 070108 what's it to you? who go blather from