biggest_mistake_of_my_life Evi Is the one I am about to do. 000919 ... silentbob biting into an advil 000920 ... vampers was falling in love with him, letting him get into my mind and convince me that i was worthless, that i couldnt do better and never would, that only he would be there for me, he never cared about me, he only wanted my body, never thought about my emotions and what he was doing to me, he sent me into a spiral, and i hit the ground hard, and my scars are still visible from being used by him, he said he loved me, i believed him, to think i almost gave him everything of me, im glad i didnt, i would hate myself so much, i feel tainted just by knowing that i cared for the worthless bastard and let him touch me, i can never forget how he made me feel- cheap, dirty, worthless. he made me into a whore, and i think about him everyday, and i cry to myself for believing even a single word he said to me jon, i pray that some day someone returns you the favor of treating you like shit like you did to me for 3 years, im sorry to say that i even gave you a second glance, and let you into my life, i cant believe you did this to me, i will never forgive you, and i wish that you live each day knowing that you are responsible for the way my life has been, for all those times i tried to kill myself just because of you, and how i wouldnt eat just to look pretty for you. you never did anything for me that was honest. i wish id never known you. 010403 ... ellen cherry charles thinking that life followed along predictable paths, like traintracks thinking that feelings for someone just disappear like magic thinking that passion follows a pattern basically, being stubborn enough to think that we live in an orderly, linear universe 020106 ... Syrope the first gasping breath 020622 ... Chris aka Being afraid to make mistakes. Being afrais to stretch limits and rock boats. Being afraid of boldness and fearlessness. Calling these things the biggest mistake of my life. they are the reason i know what i know now. Thy have given me a purpose driven life. 061028 what's it to you? who go blather from