quietly waiting
without ability to move

the awful truth Stagnated.
this is what i am
this is where i end up,
with a life without a plan
this where we end up,
building castles in the sand
building pyramids of stone
so we enslave our fellow man

This is what i am
starving, lacking love and the touch of human hands
Thirsty in the Rain we wander through the lands
Slowly, through time, the Band becomes the Man

this is what we are.
we're writing off the written world and looking to the stars.
we're filling up the planet with our appartments and our cars
we ain't come very far.
we ain't come very far.

this is what i Be
The feeling on my tongue when i realize what I see
the look inside the eyes of my fellow human beings
as we're fighting, fucking, flying through our written history

the tao in you and me.
i submit to be quoted,
"we're all already free.
there's no chains within this world
but the ones we create
Tasting vinegar and smiling.
Watch me demonstrate."
Ouroboros i think it's time to go home. return to the states. my energy is gone, my spirits are low, my mind feels blank, my body is worn, my hands are cramping in that special "i'm hyperventilating" way, etc. time to return.

stagnated, frozen, or finished. same same
samjamala feels a little like that. The recent injury (Tendonitits) rendering me unable to play my instrument, now I sit at this fucking computer all day.

Starting to learn Sonar, though. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise; if I can get my hands on a decent midi keyboard and a better soundcard, I could be in business here.

then it dawns on me: if the pc does all it appears to be able to do, then i don't have to hire the xtra musicians to perform the hard and/or syncopated parts. this, of course, means more of the gig money getting spread less thinly.

so all is not lost.

but i miss practicing. and practicing.

and practicing.

and with all this free time, i keep thinking of her.

i was pretty close to fading the memory. the patina had already begun it's copper glaze over her smile, and i can't smell her hair anymore.

but now....(sigh)....

gotta get out of this stagnation
what's it to you?
who go