the_pharmacist's_mate silentbob 1. Don’t have sex on a boat unless you want to get pregnant. That’s what my friend Mendi’s sailor ex-boyfriend used to tell her. I want to get pregnant. Or maybe more accurately, I don’t want to die without having had children. I was a child once, with a dad. My dad is dead now. He died two weeks ago. I have never had anyone so close to me die. I am trying to pay attention to what it feels like. I know it’s early, but I keep thinking he ’s still here. Well, not here, I know he’s not here, but on his way here. On his way back here from somewhere. Coming here. Of course, I don’t think it’s my old dad in his old body coming here. It’s my old dad, in a new form. Thinking your dad might be coming in a new form is not so bad. It’s like you’re always excited, and getting ready, and listening for the door. 140113 ... Lialei My Dad passed on 5 days ago. His favorite movie was Groundhog's Day and they're playing that all the time this time of year. I wonder if he loved it so because everyday is another chance to see Heaven in everything. Even when we don't see or we screw everything up. He loved so unconditionally and he seemed to live to help people...nothing brought him more joy than to make people laugh. Even til the end the nurses were in stitches. Everyone loved him. How do you fill a void like that? How do you fill an energy that was always there in everything you knew? I don't know what I ever did in any lifetime to deserve him. I hope he knew how grateful and blessed I felt. Saints fall short in this world. Saints want you to know they are saints. He never did. He was happy to be a Dad. He was happy to tend to the bees and if they buzzed to him all the better. But he didn't need proof. Love You always, Daddy. 140114 ... daf You're so incredibly beautiful. You've done more in just this lifetime than anyone I've ever known. 140531 what's it to you? who go blather from