game_over atrium quanitifying this massive cloud forming in my head into words is going to require some rain. already choking on the mist- this cough keeps me up at night. having hopes that i don't trust and can't put to bed. can't i cut the kids in half? standing in one place just allows all of my faces to fold out like an accordioned paper fan... just pieces of a silent bird... a whole that you can't recognize from a segment. left to wonder where my escape hatch is when what's too hard for you is where i remain. small furry animal inside a plastic ball, rolling around a world of high ceilings that i'll never touch, scratching my only window against the dust and grain. certain only that eventually my time will run out and 030125 ... Syrope i get crushes, the kind that reduce me to middleschool-girl-boy-crazy-silliness...but then i talk to the guy and realize he's *choose all that apply* (a complete idiot / emotionally and psychologically dangerous / an addict of some sort / taken) or in the cases where there's nothing wrong with him i'm all giddy until i get bored with him, at which point he gets added to the "snowball's chance in hell" or the "i'll get around to sleeping with him later" categories but then...there are the times when i actually like a guy. that always ends up being much better than just a crush, all the fun without the stalking. why'd you let my crush on you go so far, just to tell me no? you haven't EVEN said no. but i know you will. because you used the word love when you referred to your girlfriend last night, but not when we whispered and struggled together in bed today. 030125 ... x SCREAM 030126 ... x escape hatches are for clever people i'm only clever when i'm confident hardly ever 030820 ... jezabel start again, this time with a catnip mouse. you should know better than to court another predator. 030820 what's it to you? who go blather from