|
Not the cross...anything but that...
|
(disclaimer: the following fictious chat with (insert deity of choice here) is meant as a jest. So in regards to puritans, or those in need of a sound ignoring........uh uh.......nope....not reading you....so there. Thpppppttt Aaaacckkk...can't make me...
The nom de pleure is anonymous blatherskite or AB for short.)
AB: "So hey doOd, what's up with you these days? Lots of humans are wondering ya know."
god: "Not me apparently."
AB: "What? Are ya feeling down?"
god: "Just a little bit lately. Now normally my reason is unknown, but thsi really has my knickers in a bunch. Those Olsen twins....you know the storey...I mean, my son....those poor girls."
AB: "Yeah doOd, I know what you mean. Never mind all the strife, greed, destruction, terminal diseases, starvation and the death going on every day....yeah those poor girls....hey doOd, have ya got any tea or something to wet the proverbial whistle?"
god: "Sure, what would you prefer?"
AB: "Any lemon tea?"
god: "Just let me check my cupboard...be right back."
AB: "Not a problem. Thanks."
god: "Milk or sugar?"
AB: "Nah, just a slice of lemon if you don't mind. So doOd, remember your good ole days? You know, all the fighting and smiting and plagues....Damn doOd, you must have had yerself a grand old fit back then. The whole salt deal, not to mention that little indident by the sea. Hey...you don't mind the questions do you doOd?"
god: "Nah, most of you humans tend to be a questioning lot. Look into your own making says I. They never do...of course I mean the percentage slaves. They fret and worry more about shaving more pieces of pie for themselves then they are about my judgement. But does this answer please them...oh no....all I ever hear anymore is the confusion...
Like, "What do you mean oh lord?"
or, "I think your fictitious and I will stamp my feet and pout to make it so."
Day in and day out....hey, by the way...what do you think about day and night. Quite ingenious, even if I do say so myself.
Here's your tea."
AB: "Thanks doOd. Yeah, we could use some more direct action on your part though, just to get the message out...you know nothing will turn an unbeliever into a devout warrior is some righteous smacking of some heads. Oh geez, look at the time. I've got a meeting to attend to. Thanks for the tea and the chat doOd."
god: "Anytime. Just call ahead and make an appoinment with that guy at the gates. Oh...can you do me a favour?"
AB: "Sure doOd, anything in particular?"
god: "Could you place this bag of dog poop on Dubya's doorstep? I'd be most appreciative."
AB: "Sure m'man."
|
040820
|
