three_seconds bijou "i can only stand this song for a few seconds. just this one part...." a long pause follows as he fast-forwards to the part that he likes. the car has stopped and i am waiting, feeling akward at ten on a sunday morning. 010916 ... bijou sometimes i have to peice everything together. sometimes it just falls on my lap. i waited for you to call all night... you didn't say you were going to but i knew you would. and you did, but it was too late, i was already an hour's drive away. i impatiently got thru the evening and bolted back to town to find you. just as i expected you called again as i got back. "i'll meet you at the bar." i'm amazed at how perfectly we match today. we look like a couple, walking into the bar. i always feel odd, like i'm looming a couple inches taller than everyone i know. i am sad tonight. i know you are hurting too. i know you walked here from somwhere you were with a lot of people, but you wanted to see me because we need each other now, just like i thought we would. just like i wanted. 010916 ... bijou and it came. what is today, sunday, the sixteenth. i got what i was pushing for. i got him to say it. i hate myself sometimes. but i have to hear it. i know how to make them say it. "you're the coolest girl i have ever met." only he was drunk, so it was repeated over and over again. followed by "you're beautiful. you're beautiful." he'd say it. then he'd keep saying it until i looked him in the eye and thanked him. i wish we were the only people in the world. come to costa rica with me, we'll learn to surf and grow coffee. i think i love you. we went back to his house and he proceeded to pass out on the couch, his neck craned sideways and a little glistening of saliva on his lip. so precious, you just want to hold him and put your forehead to his so you are sharing each other's breath. it's too much today. 010916 what's it to you? who go blather from